Summerless

about death, and a girl who gave me a vivid description of a snowboarder they found months after he had died from an avalanche

Summerless.

A dream I had of a boy stepping on my wrist,

you kissing my exposed brain-

holding me up to the high heavens.

If I die, make sure I'm made up

and my hair is done.

Then bury me in your summerless backyard of Salt Lake City Snow.

He died exposed, 

his face- reposed. 

The sun came up as his body froze. 

I had heard stories but I never knew...

why they cast dead-pan eyes on the morning dew.

An avalanche, the final prognosis.

Author's Note

I originally wrote this in prose form. Would that make more sense?

Reviews

[Tommy]

I see so much more in this little ditty than that tragic end…The emotion so full in this, and I’m with V, I love that second stanza! The sorrow coved in a blanket of snow…Wow!

Great Write Ali!
RLG,
Tommy

[V.B.]

"If I die, make sure I'm made up / and my hair is done."

Absolutely adore these two lines. They're like a thousand poems condensed into a second of reading. This whole thing made me feel like I was looking through a fogged up window at a world I could have barely imagined before. Excellent, excellent writing.

As for the prose--in my opinion, it works perfectly as is, and I wouldn't change a thing.

[Collect-Eye]

it works as a mixture
it would disrupt the flow and how it ties in w/ the plot/theme if you tried to make it arbitrarily uniform