The Clearing In The Woods

Possibly my darkest story yet, but not quite something that will make the hairs stand on the back of your neck. I also want to add this was a spur of the moment story!

The Clearing In The Woods

By

Andrew Payn

"There is still time to become anew" Said a little a tapestry his mother gave to him before she passed away. This tapestry hung above the picture of her holding him as an infant, anything but an infant now, he still missed his mother, his father never seemed to care. Never talked of her, never thought of her, probably couldn't even remember her name! He always looked at this when he needed guidance, and guidance is what he needed at the moment, his mind was, a wanderer should we say?

He sat there sitting, looking out. He had his music playing to provide the persona that he was sound at mind, that he had utter self belief. But alas nay, he had the music to help him think, ponder or even wonder. He thought. He thought an awful lot, mainly upon the subject of what to do with his meaningless life, the life that entailed such stories!

The music he played, Legendary by Daniel Yount, filled his mind with ideas, it wasn't a morbid piece, yet everyone always thought so, he saw it as a thought provoking piece, something that would help him douse his mind, and fill it with what is important! He never really had friends you see, although there were those that thought they were his friend, nay, they did not know him at all!

He regularly looked out thinking about what happens, what could happen, and what has happened. He regularly slips in and out of a conscienceless state, his family never notice. Nor do his friends, he has trouble getting to this stage which he uses as his drug in the world. Sometimes he escapes the normality of his personal environment to escape to one that is more of a natural place. Reminding him that he is not alone in his troubles, that nature can comfort, heal and protect.

Sometimes he would let his mind wander beyond the realms of normality to the stage of paranoia and utter fright. Sometimes he angered himself just by imagining scenarios, he hated that part of him, yet loved it. The immortal paradox!

So as one day passed as he took what he would call a leisurely stroke into the forests near his home, it was simply to escape the environment he loathed so. He found a part of the forest of which he had never seen before, this little clearing. The sun shone through the tree canopy into various dancing shapes. The grass here was a luscious green colour with a slight bit of dew atop the tips of each individual blade. The trees themselves seemed to rise out the ground at a tremendous height, soaring above all possible reaches of belief.

He sat down in the middle of the clearing to allow the ecstasy of thoughts mull his mind and dampen his doubts. Soon the inevitability of a clear mind cleared and he soon lost physical conscience over life an was left to the devices of grey matter. Time passed in the over world a lot quicker than it did in the state of dream he was in.

As the darkness of the world overtook the clearing it was not the light from the protecting sun that danced around his body. Alas it was the shadows of the prying moon that danced around him, completely unaware to the changing environment around him, he continued to be in the perpetual state of conscienceless he calls hope.

The moon had a mystical aura about it, although it seemed to be beautiful, it was also blue tonight, the rare blue moon! But tonight, that romantic setting, turned to a theme of evil, the evil started to surround his body, starting to encapsulate him through the medium of fright. 

The shadows danced around him like a ballet of good, creating taunting shapes, shapes which twisted the mind. The quickly entered his dream, chasing him, hunting him down. He attempted to fight but the natural force of life soon took a hold of his body and mind. After completing an activity to reach peacefulness with his body, he soon turned against himself.

He fought and fought but it was in vain and the darkness soon started to take a hold of his body, he was soon taken aback by the oncoming darkness. Soon a figure, almost human, started to step forward and take his breaths. The being was tall, dressed in black, with a black suit, black tie, and black trousers. As he stepped forward he started to transmute into a new being. This being was an abomination of life, a walking body of drooping fat, with various tentacles swinging about his body. He had no gender, was nothing, but still took life from within him.

As this dark beast stepped forward in the realm of the mind, in actuality there was a more terrifying being surrounding his physical being. A creature, which stood on two legs, yet took the resemblance to a wolf clambered clumsily towards his physical self. Foam was created at the mouth and he started to create saliva dripping from his chin. This beast was hungry and about to eat it's latest meal.

Yet in the dream state he had started to fight back, he used the main advantage he had. It was his dream so he had some control over it. He soon started to create devices to fight back with, futile but still courageous. This made the beast congratulate him on his effort and achievement, but congratulate he only did. He continued to push on and fight this human to the death and beyond, as far as it was concerned this human would have no remnant to return to.

In actuality the walking wolfen being started to conjure beasts from nothing, breasts which would frighten the most abnormal of people info complete submission. These beasts were the merchants of the devil, bringers of hell fire, creators of satanic life. Nothing would be able to stop these beings from their one command.

From within the dream state he was able to hold back these brings of darkness from reality by bringing them to his realm, his hell, his personal arena. Nothing would be able to stop him from at least trying, but alas it was again futile as the wolfen beast still stood in reality, and was still hungry.

The wolfen beast from hell continued its parry of torment and woe, creating the diversions in the mind, the body was ripe for the picking. Yet something stopped him from reaching the end of the path, he fought but against nothing.

It was now the dream state where the battle became reality, still sat there in the lotus position he battled an invisible army, used every might of strength to fight off an oncoming invasion of reality, yet it was still a dream, the fight became real.

There was nothing left to do, he used every particle of brain power to expand this state with a shock wave, a shock wave so powerful it forced the oncoming invasion of the mind back to where it came. The shock wave was so powerful it pulled him out of the state, only to see he had a lasting impression upon the local environment. Piles of ash lay across the floor, the luscious grass and empowering trees were all swept aback. The clearing had truly earned its name that night, he laid there gazing above, the stars calling his name and uttering the single words that made that night what it is.

"there is still time, to become anew"

Author's Note

Harsh, honest and critical reviews.

*Last updated 15/09/2012

Reviews

[NoblePariah]

A good, solid story. I have a couple things to point out, simply for the purposes of constructive criticism: As an overall thing, maybe compress your sentence structure a bit, for example, the first two sentences could be combined to something like “He sat looking out, as he played his music, accentuating his persona of sound mined, self belief.” (It's nothing major, just something I thought may improve. Just an example of a shorter sentence, but of course each writer has their own style.)
Other than that, it seems to switch between present tense and past tense, which can be a bit confusing to the reader. Also I would work on the sentence structure overall a bit such as repeating base words like in the sentence “Soon the inevitability of a clear mind cleared” giving a slightly clunky effect when reading. The best way to work on that stuff is simply practice.
It's a very imaginative piece, and as I said it's a pretty solid story, if you work on the word usage and sentence structure it would be quite good. I hope this isn't too harsh, as I just wanted to point out what struck me as I read it. Definitely a cool idea.

[Andrew Payn]

Thanks, and no your not being too harsh, the main problem with my writing is, its what I call "point of moment text" mainly because you think of it, and then start writing it, you don't stop to think, you just don't stop!

But I am going to need as much reviews as possible as I want to improve my work, I rarely go back on a piece to improve, but on this I am making a few exceptions, and I could also do with adding stuff which just fly into my head!

So yeah, thanks for the review, it really helped!

Thanks
Andrew~

[C.C. Marx]

The imagery and details is what really interested me the most but the concept was interesting too. Well written.

[Andrew Payn]

Sorry for the late reply!

Thanks for the feedback!

[C.C. Marx]

I feel the same way, its nice to know when people enjoy what you write so i try to let people know when i do

[AK]

*squints eyes* did it have to be night time now? Anyways, great story. I love the images that it paints in the reader's mind. As I have mentioned previously, I love your style of writing, it is befitted for such a writing:)
Very well written! Keep writing!

[Andrew Payn]

Thanks, you know the backstory behind it already so there isn't much point in me telling you, but I will add upon it and fix it throughout the week!

So thanks
Andrew~

[Andrew Payn]

I really loved the grotesque imagery that you provided with the beasts and gender-less being. Painted a dark and powerful image in my mind. I did however feel lost from the beginning and feel you have the power of imagery that you could add more detail to help the reader follow along. You mention the man looking out, setting up the scene in one place, then the next place have him quickly moved to somewhere else with little time between. I also really liked the play on the imagination versus reality and allowing the worlds to mix. It felt it left much up to interpretation which I love. Nice story.

[Andrew Payn]

Thanks, I have tried to add upon it but the problem with this story is it was an unplanned complete spur of the moment, and in order to fix its problems I have to retrace my steps and get back into the mindset I was in then.

But thanks anyway, at least with reviews I can work upon them in later pieces of work, but for me I have to finish a piece in the same session I start it or I lose confidence in it.