Excuse Me

To fart or not to fart that is the question!

This was a problem, a very, very, big problem. Maddison J. Andrews had to fart. Not a small fart either, but a big loud smelly one. The kindergartner shuffled uncomfortably wondering if maybe there was some way she could let it out without being caught.

There was no way that could happen though. Sitting on the blue rug each of the 26 students sat on a single letter. Even if she were so lucky as to fart quietly it would be clear that she was the skunk of the room.

Fidgeting as her belly rumbled Maddison wondered if anyone else could hear the noises coming from her body. She tensed and looked for a way out. Maybe she could ask her teacher to go to the bathroom. No Mrs. Collins wouldn’t allow that. Lunch had just finished and she was in the middle of teaching. Still she had to try.

The little girls hand shot up faster than she thought possible. Mrs. Collin face brightened, one of her students had a question but the cheer quickly faded upon the asking of the question. Gently Mrs. Collins said what Maddison knew she would, that if it were not an emergency then she would have to wait.

Maddison stared down at the blue rug and wondered if maybe she ignored the fart then it would go away. The letters on the whiteboard started to take shape and form words-she clenched the poisonous cloud had almost escaped.

Why couldn’t she fart like she did at home? No one made a big deal about it there, sure sometimes they teased her but everyone farted. Right? A quick glance at her classmates, they farted right. She knew that for sure, Tommy had farted three days ago. A short but loud one. The girls shyed away in giggles and the boys laughed and made jokes. Even Mrs. Collins, while trying to disapprove, chuckled. But it was different Maddison was a girl, girls weren’t supposed to fart. Plus she was in school around people other than her family. It was like she was in church and any noise other than her voice was very inappropriate She cringed at the thought of her classmates calling her some terrible nickname like Stinky Pants McGee or  Fart Girl.

She scrunched her face in frustration her tummy moaning. This pain isn’t worth it!. She declared, So what if they call me fart girl?

Still she clenched tighter.Time slowly ticked by until the lesson was concluded and she was allowed to use the bathroom and she was able to release the terrible, smelly fart.

Author's Note

Just a silly story questioning why we can't fart. I am going to send this into a literary magazine for publication so please point out anything you see that can be improved :)

Reviews

[Marie]

Unappetizing subject, but you wrote it well and with humour. I have some suggestions as to style and punctuation:


The little girls(GIRL'S) hand shot up faster than she thought possible. Mrs. Collin('S) face
brightened. one(ONE) of her students had a question. but(BUT) the cheer quickly faded(WHEN SHE HEARD IT) upon the asking of the question.(leave the last part of this sentence out.)
words-she clenched the poisonous cloud(THAT) had almost escaped.
Right? A quick glance at her classmates, they farted right.9LEAVE THIS SENTENCE OUT)

[Imara]

Oh my gosh thank you! I'm very bad with apostrophes and such. This is just a draft so thank you so much for pointing out those errors :)
Haha yes, I figured it was time for someone to talk about this. It was a lot of fun to write. Thanks again!

[A. H. Pinley]

A few days ago I hung out with kids from this age group and I don't think they feel like they can't fart in class. This group of kids were not shy, unless at home the child is discouraged. Fun story!

[Imara]

Haha yea, it's particular to girls because girls aren't supposed to fart but all the same. It could be any age, I just thought that it would be more fun to write about it from this age group :) Thank you for the review!

[Acucena G.]

very humouristic and elegant , well written.

[Imara]

Thank you :)

[Naveen Dennis Barnabas]

A funny article but an incident that could disrupt the life of a sensitive child in the hands of a bully.
Maybe the thought process of the young girl could be added, possible problems with bullies could be mentioned. Maybe.
But in total, you sure can write stories from unusual circumstances and make people think. :)

[Imara]

She wasn't really being bullied, it was her fear of being bullied after the incident but I understand what you're saying. It's a good point! I'll make sure to add that in. Thanks for the review and the compliment :)

[Samuel Dickens]

I've long thought the way our society views flatulence is just plain ridiculous. Has there ever been a person born who didn't occasionally have to vent a bit of gas? Your story does a great job of exemplifying how difficult it is for a child to adhere to such dumb ideas. There is one thing you need to work on, and that's punctuation.

[Imara]

Thank you for you review. I agree just silly and yet here I am still not farting in public haha. And yes my punctuation, I've gotten that before. I'll reread it and look for more errors. Thank you for your help ^^

[Samuel Dickens]

With one exception, it was missing commas.