On A March Winter's Eve

You departed on a freezing March winter’s eve

Was under the snowlight of my lofty sweet dreams

All despite my pleading you thus packed up your things

And then casually, you demanded my ring

 

I was lost when you left, always doubting myself

For when you left, you took my emotional health

I, the streets did wander, hoping, glimpse you to catch

But ne’er you saw, no chance for another rematch

 

I heard you were dating, into making the rounds

Living it up like a boy, e’er out on the town

We could have done that if wanted you, out each night

But not me nor town, wanted you more women in sight

 

Time then passed, as did the dream of you then depart

I once saw you go by, smiling with your black heart

But now I’ve moved on, with this real man that I met

I still look into your eyes, and see your regret

 

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If interested in Poetic Structure: 

Trochaic Pentameter with Double Catalaxis

 

You departed on a freezing March winter’s eve

Was under the snowlight of my lofty sweet dreams

All despite my pleading you thus packed up your things

And then casually, you demanded my ring

 

I was lost when you left, always doubting myself

For when you left, you took my emotional health

I, the streets did wander, hoping, glimpse you to catch

But ne'er saw you, no chance for another rematch

 

I heard you were dating, into making the rounds

Living it up like a boy, e’er out on the town

We could have done that if wanted you, out each night

But not me nor town, wanted you more women in sight

 

Time then passed, as did the dream of you then depart

I once saw you go by, smiling with your black heart

But now I’ve moved on, with this real man that I met

I still look into your eyes, and see your regret

Copywrite©2012

All rights reserved.

Barbara L. Brown

Author's Note

Poetic Structure: Trochaic Pentameter with Double Catalaxis

See below poem for structure analysis.

Reviews

[Serenity Faith]

Well penned. I like that you also added a lesson to your piece as well. And, from what I gathered by reading the other reviews, you've never experienced the pain that is relatable in your write. Signs of a great writer in my opinion. ^_^ On a side note, I also met my Husband my Freshman year in High School, which he has everything down to my first real kiss xD

[BLBrown]

Yes, this is fiction, thank goodness. 35 years of marriage and climbing!!

[Serenity Faith]

congratulations ^_^

[Junert]

I love the diction as well as the poem.

[.]

Wow, great poetic structure.

[marytownsend]

I love the last line, that moment that you suddenly realize what you lost and pride, arrogance and all other deceitful emotions fall away, leaving you with that one thing-regret. Beautiful poem and great writing!

[BLBrown]

Thanks so much for your kind review.

[Emerald Seas]

Each of us has run across one or two that have hurt us in some way, only to teach us, help us grow, and then to appreciate the realness of a true love when it comes our way. There is depth and understanding in this piece, a hint of the hurt once felt, and the reward of finding one love that is far more in comparison to anything previously felt.
Well done, my friend.

[BLBrown]

Thanks so much. Actually, this is fiction. I've never experienced this in my life. I think that is because I didn't ever date in High School...as you can imagine. It wasn't until my second session of Freshman year, when I met my husband, that I had my first and only relationship. God granted me this man and I feel very grateful.

As always...thanks for your kind words and encouragement.

[Emerald Seas]

To never have suffered a broken heart - an exceptional feat! Once... for me, and it is a crushing event! You have been blessed in love!

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

Very beautiful, I can't find words to describe the feeling. It is always the same story. The girl was lucky to know the truth since the beginning and then she was lucky again to understand and to meet a real love. Beautiful structure.

[...]

This was heartfelt with a good story line and beautifully written!