For Those Broken Hearts

I shall write a secret,

Of my love I prophess,

While on my walls is writ

My secret love that grants no rest. 

I wish but do not receive,

And in this I wish

Oh, I wish I would believe,

In an unforgiving bliss.

But I know he cares not,

So now I weep alone,

While in time I rot,

Down to whitest bone.

But my heart shall stay, 

To love and cry,

Till the day,

You know why.

Author's Note

The first stanza isn't really good, but after that it gets better:)

Reviews

[Clockwork]

I really like this fresh take on the classic love poem. It is nice that you bring in the older style words, and your form is a nice choice too.

[Bridget Murphy]

thank you, so much, this is really helpful criticism.

[Clockwork]

Your welcome. It is also a nice touch that you tryout some near rhymes too!

[Bridget Murphy]

thanks! :)

[ravenjess]

this is really beautiful. i loved it!

[Aianarie (INACTIVE)]

Wow, I really enjoyed this poem! I just love the expressions and the word choices. And I disagree about the first stanza...I liked it. Great piece, Bridget. Keep writing! :-)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very nice poem about love and lost. Love teaches us we are human and can be broke down. I like your thoughts and the strong ending. Than you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[The Watcher]

This is a really beautiful poem! Romantic and intense, but wonderful nonetheless. I can sense a lot of pain behind your words, and I can only hope that things get better for you soon. Anyhoo, great write and kudos to you.

100/100

[MOON]

Lovely flowing write.

[Sg]

I think the whole thing was great!

[Elizabeth Kerns]

It's excellent. c: Looking forward to reading more.