Dear Straight Me

I was close to you for years
I clung onto you like you were the reason for my mother’s love

Like once I loosened my grip so would she

You became my best friend and my ally

You created who I was so that I did not have to

In the darkness of my bedroom I couldn’t see you and there was just me

I sunk when I knew that I had a crush on a woman

Suppression

I liked her

Like, like liked her

Suppression

Google “how do you know you’re gay”

Delete History

I turned the lights on so I could see you again

Blouses, oval skirts, and earrings

Don’t let them see you

Woman’s section, boy crushes, and a pink dress at homecoming

My chest was heavy

Straight me made a home in my body

Years pass

I’m 22 when I start to tell people I like women

I move and I leave straight me in Southern California

Hello San Francisco
I shed you like dead skin

You are dead skin

I could not figure out what to cling to anymore

My hands were still white from gripping so hard

I looked in the mirror and decided to love her

I looked in the mirror and said

Trousers, Old Skool vans, and t shirts

Blazers, black boots, and a short haircut

Gay memes, gay bars, and Daisy Ridley

My mother asked me if i thought being gay was a sin

I told her no and she told me i was going to hell

Music became my therapy

I drank a lot of wine and took a lot of walks

I tried to be sad about it and sometimes,

I am sad about it

But loving and losing is not always a loss

A snake sheds its skin to allow it to grow

I am a snake and I will grow and continue to grow

I will continue to shed the skin that holds me in place

I become more myself every time I shed a layer

My mother’s grip loosened when she found out I was gay

But she had nothing left in her hands but dead skin

Reviews

[Sanbino Rodriguez-White]

This poem is beautiful, I know how it is to feel different and to not who what to do about it, I was 11 when I came out to my parents and I didn't get the beat feed back, they said I was too young and naive,my stepfather couldn't accept it bit I could no longer hide in the closet, that was nine years ago I'm about to be 2 and I'm still Bisexual and proud, congratulations no coming out and making this beautiful poem you are a testimony for all people who feel the same way...

[Brittney Reynolds]

Thank you Santateo! Congratulations to both of us, it can be such a tough time, so it is so nice having likeminded people along side thank you.

[Sanbino Rodriguez-White]

Not a problem at all, I must make a poem for my own sexuality one day but for now I'm just not as brave as you are!!

[Chris Shaw]

A moving piece of prose. Your final two lines were painful to read. I ask myself how can a mother loosen her grip? How can she love her child less because of their sexual orientation? In my opinion, a mother should do everything she can to assist the well being and happiness of her child. That is what nurturing is for me. My family come first and always will. Break free, live life on your own terms and don't harbour guilt or secrets. You have conveyed much emotion in this writing. Thank you.

[Brittney Reynolds]

Thank you so so much this means a lot! Poetry has been an amazing outlet.

[Chris Shaw]

Never stop writing. Once you have the bug it opens up a whole new world for you. Splash the pages with your thoughts, stay creative.

Chris

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

thanks for entering the real me competition, im judging this weekend, thanks for this wonderful work