Trusting the Heart

Trusting the Heart

A Poem by BeautifulDisaster
"

Something I wrote because I can't seem to trust guys anymore. In the end my heart always gets ripped out.

"
I can’t seem to find the heart to trust you anymore.
The betrayal and the lies are what have ruined it.
You never took the chance to get to know me.
You were too scared to see who I was.
Here I stood waiting with open arms and you left me hanging.
Instead you turned left while I stood right.
What I had to offer to you was apparently not good enough.
Tears of anger and pain streamed down my face because of you.
The only reason my heart opened up again was because I thought you could handle it.
But I guess I was wrong, you can never seem to trust people to hold the key to your heart.

© 2010 BeautifulDisaster



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Reviews

This poem appears really true and sincere. People with trust issues simply cannot love.

Posted 4 Years Ago


yah that heart thing really knows how to mess with us huh
the mind isnt much better though
great job

Posted 6 Years Ago


Something I was always taught was to NEVER use the literal words for an emotion. Instead, try to use metaphor or simile to convey the emotion rather than simply saying it. for instance you could say, "tears carve their way down my cheek, leaving scars" or something like that. sometimes, writing from the heart makes it harder to weave the threads of a poem intricately, or even simply. All and all, good job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


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AK
Trying to resist the urge to offer personal advise here... how about, "be patient".
Good, therapeutic write!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Very sad. Some people really do act like jerks, huh?

Posted 7 Years Ago


I hate it when people are needlessly hurt by others.

Posted 7 Years Ago


....that's y i keep the around mi neck and closer to me than them...deep

Posted 7 Years Ago


"Instead you turned left while I stood right."

Favorite line.. Nice write =]

Posted 7 Years Ago


Very deep. I like it.
Here I stood waiting with open arms and you left me hanging.
Instead you turned left while I stood right.

^^That has to be my favorite two lines. Great job!

Posted 7 Years Ago


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.
You have a very straight forward poem here. It's clear and to the point. You do this in the poem by leaving out images and details about the relationship and leave it very general. There are positives and negatives to this approach. The positive is that it allows more people to relate to this poem because it's on such general terms. A downside to it though is that the reader isn't really brought into your poem because there are no specifics to make it stick out in their minds. All depends on what you are trying to go for. One thing though that did bug me was the second line. I didn't see it serve any purpose. It seemed redundant to say that betrayal and lies ruined trust because of course those things ruin trust. To me, it didn't need to be said, and it doesn't add anything to your poem. You're other lines added something to what was going on, but that one seems just stuck there for the sake of being there. You might want to consider taking it out. Just a thought.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on March 15, 2010
Last Updated on March 15, 2010


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