relapse

"wish you were here!" he says

and my heart breaks a thousand times

because it is not that i am so spiteful 

that i don't want to spend time with my family

it is that they do not really want me there

she does not want me there. 

i would go if it were not for the petty jabs 

that i know she will make

if it were not for the ways she will humiliate me

exposing my mistakes in front of the people

that she respects most. 

so when he tells me he wishes i was there, 

i do not know how to respond. 

and when he knocks softly on my bedroom door, 

asking if i got the message after all, 

my lip quivers as i plead for him to leave me alone. 

i know i am driving him away,

but i am too weak 

too weak to hold myself together

i have nothing right to say, so i say nothing at all.

and when i finally sleep, 

after the tears have dissolved into my skin 

shame will burn my face 

it has been years since i felt the bite of a blade against my skin

years since i buried that sin in its grave

but today was my breaking point.

suddenly, i am sixteen years old again and alone in the world. 

and it is all too easy to paint my sadness

with strokes of red and silver. 

Reviews

[Vicky]

it seems to start off as a story, and slowly turn into a poem.
Several lovely lines in the end: "After the tears have dissolved into my skin", "Felt the bite of a blade" "Buried that sin in its grave" "it is all too easy to paint my sadness with stroke of red and silver."