Waking Up

Waking Up

A Chapter by Constance-Outspoken
"

500 words group.. title given, the rest was already written in my head

"
Through the frayed curtains leak fragments of sunrise, which spill across the form of a man whose head is lying upon my pillow. His eyes still closed, he can be seen as though seen for the first time-- still and vulnerable. At the moment, hearing his breath, I believe the outtakes are chanted prayers, the intakes answers to questions I didn't wish to ask of him, just yet. Are your dreams the same as mine?

I've been awake for several hours, stirring, pacing, thinking... I slept for far too long. In this over-rest, I'm under-rested... my fancies and hopes, arrested. For a change, my thoughts whisper to me in real-time. Ah, clarity, you are a bore, a burden, a pariah!

I ask myself many things, and my own responses have shaken me more violently than any tremor of the earth could muster. Still, the calm and reverent respiration of a man is all that can be heard. When you look at me, what do you see?
 
There have been other heads upon my pillow, and other times like this, too... but not exactly like this... for my thoughts have come to a conclusion they've never reached before, for no, it's never been this particular way. I've awakened. Yet, he sleeps.

I pull aside one edge of the curtain, far from his sleeping form, not wanting to disturb... wanting to startle only my own mind, at present. The question, always, is not Does he love me? but honestly, Do we all love the same?


The answer is no. And yet, onward I shall venture, and see what tomorrow's sunrise brings, upon awakening. I want to see just how it is that others love. I want to wake up and find that something is stronger, is better, than the beating of my own heart, the devotion of my own mind... further reason for this waking up business, that's what I want.

He rises, suddenly. Questions are answered from within his gaze, resting upon my face. 





© 2010 Constance-Outspoken



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Featured Review

You've given words here to a conversation that's inside every one of us. I am not sure it ever gets answered effectively, but wow, what a tremendous amount of self-understanding here, an intense awareness, a willingness to go outside oneself in order that one might understand further. This is such an interior piece I almost don't have words for how I feel about it except to say, "I get it."

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

You've given words here to a conversation that's inside every one of us. I am not sure it ever gets answered effectively, but wow, what a tremendous amount of self-understanding here, an intense awareness, a willingness to go outside oneself in order that one might understand further. This is such an interior piece I almost don't have words for how I feel about it except to say, "I get it."

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is beautiful, well done

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I never said what the gaze replied. I didn't know... I was wondering. When I found the answer, I didn't like it at all. The worst thing is... I can't hate him. I still love him... because this is how my love is.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

When we love someone it only takes one look in their eyes to know the world is right no matter what is happening... you really had me mesmerized throughout with your verses.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Definitely, love is more than worlds. This was beautifully painted into the psychological...

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on April 28, 2010
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Author

Constance-Outspoken
Constance-Outspoken

Who wants to know where I am, when who I am is all that matters?, KS



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Meh. I write crap. I write crap because I've always been alone. more..

Writing