Zero Hour

What are we in the wake of the seemingly insurmountable?

Zero Hour

Standing three feet from the edge, on the borderline of pretentious existence

I've grown weary from my political conflict, the emissions of a confused conscience

Give in, end transmission

Every sunrise finds me hopelessly scanning the frequencies

For a secret sign of extraterrestrial life, a faint beacon of warming light

But every distress call is met with only white noise

Give in, end transmission

When the fire that keeps the soul alive becomes but a ghostly echo

When the mind of the restless warrior is caught in the throes of vertigo

The true voice of the human heart is finally known

Unkempt my universe has become, never-ending static fills the television

To this loneliness I'm about to succumb, the elements have made me so numb

Give in, end transmission

A radioactive substance explodes into my blood like an eruption

So many times I've tried to quit, but its gravity pulls me back into orbit

This weakness has put my life into suspended animation

Give in, end transmission

When the fire that keeps the soul alive becomes but a ghostly echo

When the mind of the restless warrior is caught in the throes of vertigo

The true voice of the human heart is finally known

Tonight we cross the event horizon and descend into the unknown

And either fall in defeat or transcend infinity

This is it, this is the moment in time when I must decide

To either fight alongside my comrades or run away and die a coward

But how can I when neither my mind nor heart know what to do?

Give in, end transmission( don't give in!)

When the fire that keeps the soul alive becomes but a ghostly echo

When the mind of the restless warrior is caught in the throes of vertigo

The true voice of the human heart is finally known

Author's Note

For this one, I decided to do more experimenting with both the format and the way I wrote it. I know this may be a little cryptic, but that's the way I want this song to be. As always, tell me what you think! :)

Reviews

[Relic]

If this is a song I would love to hear what it sounds like. Yes, it is cryptic but it seems to be the words of someone who is overwhelmed with something. You make reference to political conflict, distress calls, warrior, substance and trying to quit, among others. I'm going to take a wild guess and say it might have to do with school and what's going on in your personal life.

Also, your last large font declaration proclaims end transmission (don't give in). End transmission could be something serious but I won't make assumptions.

Overall, I think this is an interesting poem and the way you've experimented is different but in a good way. Nice poem.

[Nightfeather]

The way you have written this poem has just hit the right snare by me, for the meaning is deep but also relatable to many. The lay-out may be daring, but your daringness paid off.

PS: It feels like I am watching an awesome Sci-fi movie narrated by Morgan Freeman

Good job :D

[DoormanDan]

I really wanted a sci-fi movie atmosphere for this piece, and I also wanted it to stand out from my other poems format-wise. This was the last poem I wrote that I wrote before songs became increasingly harder for me to write. I feel that once you've been writing for so long, the process can start to lose it's magic. I wrote my very first song around five years ago, but didn't start taking songwriting seriously until around two years ago, and I''ve hit burnout. I'm starting to slowly have ideas again, but songwriting's still proving to be hard at the moment. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Art]

niework...a little sci-fi imagination although it can become that reality which awaits...

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for reviewing this, I had science fiction on the brain when I wrote this.:)

[Amber Lily]

I love it when you experiment with writing, it always leaves something new and interesting for me to read :)
This actually sounds really similar to the plot of a movie I saw the preview of the other day. (The Martian) This goes really great to that film. You should so check out the trailer and see the similarities!
As always, a different twist on a cryptic topic that my mind and only begin to try to understand all the thought behind it. Great work :)

[DoormanDan]

And it's a lot of fun for me to experiment. I haven't seen the trailer for that movie yet, but it does sound interesting to m, so I'll make sure I check out the trailer for it. Thanks for the review :)

[Amber Lily]

Always a pleasure :)

[Skai Rain]

Wow... I think you truly have a gift with poetry. Speechless. I love the chorus, it is my favorite part of this work. Though, to be honest, I can not imagine music to this. It is so strong on its own. Thank you for sharing.

[DoormanDan]

Thank you for the compliment on my writing ability. I'll admit, I can't really imagine music for this either lol. :)

[W R Stowe]

Indeed the imagination station within ones mind.Wonder what would happen if there were a real response how would we react would we simply destroy it as other creatures we didn't understand.Nice lyrics

[DoormanDan]

In a moment like that, our true nature would be revealed, certainly. I guess we won't know what that nature is unless something like that happens though. Thanks for reviewing this :)

[W R Stowe]

you're very welcome

[Korin]

"Every sunrise finds me hopelessly scanning the frequencies" This is a strong line indeed. I'm taken back by how young you are with a strong willed mind like that.

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for the review. I have gotten that kind of response before lol. My style happened mainly just because I used to have way too much time on my hands :)

[AaronFreitas]

Nice work! I like the format love that you're willing to experiment and try something different. I like the song my friend very creative :)

[Valentine]

I can never picture your writing as songs. You have so much talent and word usage. Have you ever thought of short or long stories? Valentine

[DoormanDan]

I do write stories, but I'm more of a song/poetry writer than a story-writer. If I do write a story, it usually tends to be an allegory, because I can use my imagination to the fullest with those(I'm a huge fan of writers like Edgar Allan Poe and the Grimm Brothers). Thanks for reviewing this Valentine :)

[jeannemarie coulter]

well penned and thought provoking...thank you

[DoormanDan]

I'm really glad you liked it! This isn't my best piece, by far, mainly because I was experimenting with different things in this, but what can you do? :)