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Beer Bottles and Pills

Beer Bottles and Pills

A Poem by DoormanDan
"

For all those people who are in foster care, feeling lost and alone. Inspired by my personal experience

"
Beer Bottles and Pills

I close my eyes and rewind back to a time
When strife sliced up my life like a serrated knife
Mother and father struggled to pay the bills
For our budget had gone towards beer bottles and pills
My brothers and sister, they couldn't do anything
But watch as our parents again risked everything
Wasting money by day and themselves at night
And yet still surprised to find that they always fight

Meanwhile, I just sat there on the filthy floor
Nice and warm, playing my Nintendo 64
Unaware of the scary scene that had formed
And that soon we wouldn't be in that house anymore

One day the bank came, to our parents' dismay
And with haste proceeded to take our house away
Which left us homeless and broke, trying to cope
Roaming the whole state from place to place with the hope
That we could get back up to our knees at least
And be able to afford more than fast food feasts
But still the family was left deathly ill
As our budget had gone towards beer bottles and pills

Meanwhile, I just sat there, without a damn clue
Just a six year old boy who was failing in school
For I had missed so many days and was refused
The ADHD meds I needed to pull through

My siblings, they eventually moved out
They wanted to take me, there was never a doubt
But they couldn't, and man, it brought them so much pain
For me to stay in that place with nothing to gain
But abuse in the shape of endless neglect
And a domestic mess deserving no respect
And the worst part was that my parents couldn't tell
They had made their son's abode a physical Hell

Meanwhile, I remained unaware, without fail
Wondering why Daddy had been locked up in jail
On the snowy night that Santa's sleigh set sail
To bring happiness to all of those kids who wail

Soon we arrived at the American Lodge
A hotel that, thankfully, didn't cost a whole lot
Where we stayed until that gloomy day when Fate
Rewrote the words he carved onto his stone slate
In a drunken rage, Dad struck Mom with the phone
That was the one mistake for which he couldn't atone
Then later, while he was in his prison cell
The police found some drugs my Mom had planned to sell

Meanwhile, I was confused and honestly scared
Tightly squeezing my favorite stuffed polar bear
When my Mom gently ran her hand through my hair
And told me, "The police have to take me somewhere."

The following year brought a torrent of tears
Though the parts near the beginning aren't all that clear
I went to live with my brothers for a while
And then was forced to leave them and their soothing smiles
I was left in a stranger's place, so afraid
She was a scary lady who never refrained
From shouting every time I messed something up
And left me just longing to feel like I was loved

Meanwhile, I curled up on that alien bed
Sometimes wanting to cry until my eyes turned red
Praying daily that this madness my life bred
Would soon end along with this emotive bloodshed

And then after four months of pleas unanswered
I received a bright sign that things would get better
In the form of a caring, married couple
Who were looking to save a small child from struggle
The moment I moved in, I felt loved again
Sobs no longer smothered every tired breath
And I still remember the day I was told
"Son, welcome to your brand new home!"

Now a decade's passed and I've since then moved on
Still I thank God everyday at the dawn of dawn
I've changed so much more than you could ever know
And I've promised myself that I'll never cease to grow

The boy who once received grades that were so low
Is now a college student on an honor roll
With a love for puns, family, friends and life
And he will be that way until the day he dies

Dedicated, with much love, to those who are/have been in foster care for any reason.
This is probably the most personal piece I'm ever going to write


© 2017 DoormanDan



Author's Note

DoormanDan
Alright, this is that last piece I was talking about trying to finish before I went back to college. Clearly, that didn't happen, but I've finally gotten it done, and am ready to present it to you all! This took me days to write, and I'm certain I could've done much better with this piece, but time is currently limited for me, and I wanted...no...NEEDED to get this piece complete, otherwise I knew I wouldn't have come back to it. The events described in this piece are my own experiences in foster care, which I was in a little over ten years ago because my birth parents were addicted to alcohol and drugs, and weren't taking care of me like they should have. For the first time, I legitimately counted EVERY syllable in order to nail my flow (which, for this particular piece, is an eleven and twelve syllable flow). As per usual, all feedback is acceptable. Even if you want to tell me that this piece is horrible, feel free to do so (so long as it's in a constructive manner, that is). I don't know when I'm going to write anything again, so I guess I'll just end with a see you next time!! :)

My Review

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Reviews

I don't have much else to say than that this is an incredible poem that portrays your experiences so beautifully. Well done.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


DoormanDan

2 Weeks Ago

Well, I'm flattered by your high opinion on this! Thank you for reading! :)
ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL....YOU WRITE SO HONESTLY AND WITH AN OPEN HEART....

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


DoormanDan

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you for the review and the praise. Yeah, I dumped as much emotion into this as I could muster.. read more
Whoa. Such a transparent look inside your beautiful soul. There are no words appropriate for this because this really isn't words - this is life and feeling and what happens and the worst of it and the best of it and the sad of it and the happy of it and the lessons learned and the lessons you didn't know you were even learning and the lessons you never wanted to learn. I love your honesty and your heart in this writing. That is all I can say. It is a prized portrait of a friend's soul, and that is priceless - written or no.

Posted 7 Months Ago


I think you summarized your situation quite well. And I've seen a number of similar ones. You survived and you left this piece as your catharsis I think. Nice work, brother.

Posted 7 Months Ago


OK, I'm close to tears for a lot of reasons... I shared your parents' experience unfortunately, but fortunately, did not have children at the time. I have, however, seen so many children that should have been taken away from their awful f*****g parents... I hated those people. However much their babies loved them, they made me sick when I went to buy drugs from them and had to change their babies' diapers and bathe them because no one else would. Even as a junkie I could still see that the kids deserved better. ANYWAY... my husband and I plan to adopt once we have moved forward in our careers and have the money to provide an awesome home for a child (or children). We hope to be like the people that you spoke of, making the kids feel safe and loved and protect them... ok, enough. Super emotional and personal and honest, the way the greatest writing always is. Congratulations on a job well done Dan
-Dani

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

I wish you the best of luck with adoption, and am very happy to hear that you seem to have overcome .. read more
Ginger Valentine

6 Months Ago

Great writing Dan
First of all, Kudos to you for this brave, powerful and honest piece of poetry. I am glad that you came out as a brighter and better person at the end. This was very heartbreaking to read. A very good and inspiring story of a person who has lived in foster care. You have maintained proper structure, flow and rhythm throughout. I was hooked up to this write till the end. So you were successful in keeping your readers engaged till the end. I feel writings that carry poet's personal story always hits at right place..this did the same.
Very well done, Dan :-)
Salute to that effort that you put in creating this wonderful piece. Thanks for sharing your outstanding journey with us.
Keep up the good work.
All the best for ahead.

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

You are very right, personal poems do tend to carry more of a powerful punch than just regular poems.. read more
You Mastered this piece !

Personal ones always seem to hit home most in my heart you see ..

And I'm so happy for youbtjat your life has been being restored...

And hugs for all the hurt you had to undeservingly endure


((( Bighugs)))

I will be returning here ...


L. 💛

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

Thank you so much for the kind words and the hugs, they are really appreciated. I'm doing fine now,.. read more
Farmgirl

8 Months Ago

I understand and I see that you have healed and overcome this hardship I thought this was very beaut.. read more
I usually don't enjoy reading poetry, but I loved this piece. It flows very well, and is still vivid (something I struggle with when I try to write poetry). I'm glad your story has a happy ending, great job and good luck.

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

I'm glad to hear I was able to make you enjoy reading poetry for once! There's something about bein.. read more
What a brave write. I can relate to this you have put so much into it your raw emotion. No matter what sums us up in the physical we are as big as our hearts allow us. I have always been just a skinny little girl but I have the heart of a warrior. Good luck be with you friend. Well done.

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

True words. I could work out every day until I have six pack abs and huge muscles, but that still w.. read more
Wow this was so sad yet beautiful! I could see you as a 6 year old so clearly. I just wanted to reach out and hold you! Also, I'm no expert at writing but I thought it was well written and the flow was good. Thank you for sharing this and your life with us!

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

And thank you for reading and giving this such praise. I really do appreciate it! :)

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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on February 8, 2017
Last Updated on February 8, 2017
Tags: Adoption

Author

DoormanDan
DoormanDan

Dover, DE



About
I'm a twenty year old young man who enjoys writing poetry, songs, stories, paintball and other things. My favorite things to do are parkour, video games, listening to music, and making people happy. .. more..

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