Stone in Love

For Devons "Capture" group.

I don’t wanna

talk about it

but

 

we were

stone in love

 

or

 

whatever the hell

that means.

 

So now

I stopped trying

to resurrect

the feelings

in that old snapshot.

 

I am trying to bury

the memory

 

of

 

you

and

 

me.

 

Like a dog buries

his bone.

 

So

 

in

 

an escalation

of

commitment

 

I will now use

rocks

 

instead of

stones.

 

Reviews

[just rose.]

I'm interested in how this is physically structured on the page because it provides a counterpoint to the image where all the stones are bunched up on the faces. This is like stones dropping one by one in a pond in the way that a kid would mindlessly, but it's not about the physical act of doing that, it's about rumination... and really with heartbreak it suggests that these thoughts sink into the narrator's gut.

I agree with D that there's a curious lightheartedness here and I think the place where that happens is when the narrator says "whatever the hell that means." It's almost as if in his detachment he's mulling over/feeling crushed by the various expectations that govern "Romance." I assume it's a he because you are :) but this could just as easily be the female figure writing.

The dog burying the bone is neat also in the line structure because the words gets buried beneath the other assertions visually.

A lot to think about in your minimalist approach. Nicely done!

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the poem a lot.
"I will now use
rocks
instead of
stones."
Hard to bury dead weight. It does gain weight with time and distance. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[The Analog Kid]

Thanks Coyote! Haven't been on here for a month. Appreciate it.

[Coyote Poetry]

Always a pleasure to read your work and you are welcome.

[EMMIE]

"I will now use rocks instead of stones" LOVE IT!!!!! Everything about this! Unique concept and true feelings...great write!

[The Analog Kid]

Thanks Emmie! Long time! :)

[Emily B]

damn, man! this one has so mucb weight . . . and you know we have all been somewhere near there at some point

[The Analog Kid]

Thanks, Emily. This pic was tough. Devons is a master at picking those out to write about. Sad to say it's the last thing I wrote....haha. Need to do more soon. And yes, we have all been in this place...

[Devons]

I like the sardonic humour of this, although it comes from a sadness of things past and lost. That speaks for the hearts and memories of all who have loved and lost, and it projects a universal appeal in that sense. But also the language has great appeal, and of course the sly reference to songs... It's funny how songs can seem just songs ("banality with a beat", as someone once said), that is until someone is experiencing the very feelings the song is referring to - and then those feelings are made double (or even worse) reactions to the light melodrama of those lyrics and tones...
The word "commitment" is ironic here, considering its relevance to relationships - but here, of course, it has quite a different intent.. and that's quite amusing, too, just like the poem's punchline ending.
A charming, funny, sad kind of pseudo sarcasm - told through a subtle heartbreak and melancholy.

[The Analog Kid]

Thanks. That's exactly what I was going for; still, I love the way you dissected it.