FIVE LOST BOYS

truth not often shared, but needing telling. It was 1970.

 just back from Nam

to an ungrateful world.

marriage on the rocks.

money all spent.

just putting in time.

uncaring, unappreciated,

self destructive.

 

Ft. Hood, Texas.

short-timer populated.

anger, loss, rebellion rules.

drugs sweep base

and back in waves.

crawling confusion.

refusing adjustment.

training with no goal.

 

3-day pass

unites 5 hairless, 

hapless, ex killer-boys 

from East, West, and Heartland.

tripping on PTSD, 

a sunshine microdot reality 

distorting, contorting, 

oscillating exploration,

unfocused concentration.

 

Gulf bound without a plan

in a black Chevy van. 

every free minute precious.

not to be wasted on sleep.

pleasure to fear and back again.

abundant black beauties.

reds and slow release Christmas trees.

thai sticks to mellow.

 

we truck into a 

psychedelic rock joint 

in San Antonio

flashing primary color amoeba shapes 

rapid, fluid, electric

bounce on walls and floor.

sound too loud to speak.

light show hypnosis.

mini-skirts everywhere.

Go-Go girl in cage from ceiling.

walking hard.

 

on the backside of the sunshine

score tabs of mescaline

from a street stranger.

no-fear consumption.

night time lost in a strange city.

paranoid driver running red lights.

united screaming and cursing.

preparing to ditch stash.

green freeway sign looming relief

 

drive all night on 

black beauty speed

paralyzed by illusive reality.

dark, violent, stormy dawn light.

we drive around a highway barricade 

to hurricane-abandoned, 

and unaware

Galveston beach

 

five huddled figures

leap from van.

run into sideways blowing

needle sharp, ice cold sleet. 

wide bell bottom jeans

no shirt, no shoes.

black, fast moving clouds 

behind incoming brown water swells.

 

it lifts in a warm, wet, 

loving, floating embrace

then recedes 

slamming bodies down 

onto wet cold white sand,

then lifts softly again.

extreme sensory input.

 

dreams of ending this now

floating into and below this

lovely warm blanket.

so easy.

 

one begins to scream.

panic spreads.

slick black alien balls with

white needle spikes puncture skin.

floating just under the surface.

in my armpit.

as water disappears

I writhe on the sand

hurt, scrambling, confused,

fighting this attacking alien form.

 

my throat dry from screaming 

a sober realization forms.

a super-saturated ball

of unrefined oil

collected by straw...

an oil spill brought to shore

by hurricane suction.

 

five wet, cold boys sit on a low rock wall

passing a bottle.

red wine slams empty stomachs.

36 hours without sleep.

half the 3 day pass.

thai sticks to mellow.

 

needing motel rest.

combine dollars.

single roadside cabin room.

I awake sitting on floor

of black and white checkered shower

trying to count the black ones.

hot water long gone cold.

hands water-shriveled.

head pounding.

vomit washed away.

 

thai sticks to mellow

the heart pounding speed

on the long, quiet ride back

to a place we hate

to a future without hope.

Reviews

[Stacey Watts]

This was a fantastic piece. Oh the things we try to numb ourselves with just to get through that situation. Thanks for sharing this piece. It was a lesson in history no one get to see. It alot of times get swept under the rug. Excellent job

[Rick Puetter]

Dear papaed,

Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay, tell it like it is (or was). I was spared this hardship, being in college with an exemption. Much respect for your service. Much respect for your tials.

This is an incredibly powerful peace. I feel the desperation to live, the desperation to escape. I hear the horrible desperation. Period!

Tremendous life experience told in a unabashed, plain, sincere way. This piece is so disarming, so revealing, so full of passion and truth.

Thanks for the write. This is one of the best I've read on WC. Highest marks.

Best regards,

Rick

[Rainbow Rider]

Very touching and so painfully true. Bless you for this write, and I am assuming, you may have lived this. If that is the case, let me just say THANK YOU for your service.