Chapter One:

 

April twenty-fifth:

Well, it is my birthday today. It was okay for the most part. Once again I didn’t get any presents. I don’t really celebrate my birthday. Never have, and I don’t think I ever will. My mom says that I am not good enough for birthdays and friends. (Hence the fact that I don’t have anyone to talk to and that I am writing in a ratty, torn up notebook. Ha-ha...depressing...) Anyways, It’s raining.  Again.  I don’t see why it must rain so much in April; then again I like the rain. Then why am I complaining? I don’t know. Huh. Oh, well I suppose. I’m going to go meet my new adoptive family today. The Johnsons. Bleh. What kind of a last name is that? The Johnsons. Anyways, they better be nice. If not, then I’m just going to end up back home with my Mother.

 

            June fourth:

I was digging through some old boxes, found my journal, and have decided to write since I haven’t in awhile. On my previous birthday I got raped by my “father. The social worker barely even left the house before he did it. All of the sudden I get dropped off at some random house, and then the social worker, Anne, introduced me to my family. Well I liked the family. I had an older brother, to which I always wanted, a little sister, and a loving mother. The dad kinda freaked me out, and well, I didn’t like him from the get go. He kept checking me out and eyeing my a*s like I’m a piece of meat. It was very awkward. Then when the mom, brother, and sister went out shopping for his birthday he raped me, so I snitched on him. Anne picked me up and dropped me off at a mental institute because I couldn’t keep my thoughts inline. I kept shaking, screaming and mumbling things to myself. I was an absolute mess. I just got out today. I found out I’m almost two months pregnant. Great, just what I needed. A baby. This isn’t going to end well.

 

            July thirteenth:

My belly is getting big. It’s getting harder to hide, but no one knows yet, and I’m going to hide it as long as possible. I’m officially failing gym. (I would have even if I wasn’t pregnant, so it’s not like I’m making anything obvious.) I don’t think it’s fair. I get pregnant when we start playing dodge ball. I wailed at someone’s head and I had to sit out the rest of the game for being “overly aggressive”. Pfft. Whatever. So maybe I broke his glasses. Big whoop. I swear he deserved it somehow. I swear my gym teacher is a pedophile. He makes the guys in my class run around shirtless with basketball shorts, and the girls in short shorts and sports bras. Man, there is something seriously wrong with him. But, whatever. My mental stability is improving. I’m still having a lot of nightmares and I still wake up crying and screaming. I’m going to go take a nap. This baby has gotten me worn out.

Author's Note

First three entries of my pregnancy journal.

Reviews

[Hello, Goodbye]

I want to state much of what the other have already said: The imagery is captivating in its ability to paint not only scenery but also vivid feelings. The narration is rooted in how we think, rather than glorified and exaggerated. The best thing is that the speaker shows us a true sense of inner self, which often gets lost in first person pieces.. even when its non-fiction. Being able to elaborate on the details is something that never comes easy, but you seem to have a firm grasp on. Overall the whole set is vivid, captivating, and striking in its abrasive nature.

[Wunderlich]

The way in which you describe some of these horrible things, such as rape, as seeming to be regular occurrences, is very powerful and disturbing. Very well written and powerful.

[Pax Analog]

Deadpan nightmare. Rape treated as almost routine, like yeah, then I had a Pepsi. Tough. Strangely engaging double-edge of poignance and luridness. Dark territory that is nonetheless a powerful one for a writer of grit and persistence. Then the baby. The causes barely examined before motherhood is dropped on an understandably nervous young girl. Truth-telling will see the writer through.

[Writing Queen]

I really enjoyed this piece. I'd definetly read more of your pieces.
I like how you add personality just by saying stuff like "pfft".
Another thing I like is that it's a journal, so you can really connect with the writer.
All in all, it was great. :)

[Clockwork]

The world has had a very cruel way with you so far it seems. Hopefully things will in time even out. You have a very conversational style that makes it seem as if you are speaking this to whomever is reading. Best of luck to you, and may this spring bring rains of peace for you.

[deeps]

This is quite the write you have pieced here together.

[Ellen Hammond]

You right in such a matter-of-fact tone that it is believable and draws the reader in to read more. Something tells me this is more than just your muse and I strongly encourage you to continue to write and write more. Writing can be good therapy for us and help us to keep our sanity despite the insanity around us. A sad but riveting story. Now I am on my way to the next chapter.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Dodgeball was really funny. Any guy thats been around a pregnant woman totally gets it...lol

[J.R Schlievert]

Very well written and I love the flow. Pregnant is a powerful thing. And writing a journal makes you a powerful women

[Cassandra D.]

You have a good way of writing stories like these.
Interesting and well written :)

[These Haunted Hallways]

Wow...Jeez what a horrific experience to go thru. Im so sorry this happened to you. It shouldn't have at all. Scary stuff. Onto the next page >>>

B.A.