goodbye my baby

the difficult decision many women are faced with each day

The love I wish I didn’t feel so deeply,

For this unforeseen obstacle in my life

Formed as result of giving myself up so cheaply

That caused feelings of anxiety with unbearable strife

 

The options circling blindly in my mind

Are insufferably difficult to see thoroughly

With no one whom my worries I can confide

The weight of the decision presses garishly

 

Life or death should not be for me to choose

Yet the fate rests within my uncertain hands

With no logical decision, my heart is confused

This was never in my early plans

 

I cannot bear to destroy such a miracle

But can I give it all that it needs?

Should I offer myself only as a receptacle

Or step up to my maternal deeds

 

After months I feel the growing bump

Feeling a stronger form of love each day

It was when I heard the first heartbeat thump

That all my uncertainties melted away

 

I knew then that I could be a great mom

Giving all the endless love that anyone could

But unsure that I’m the best option for my child to fully blossom

My heart wept but I finally understood

 

When I heard her cry that first time

I longed to hold her close to me

Whisper lines from nursery rhymes

But I knew none of it would ever be

 

I held her once before they took her away

And counted her perfect fingers and toes

Although my heart broke, I knew she would be okay

With her new family where she could live and grow

 

My dearest baby, for you I wish the world

So much that I had to give you up

I can only think of the life that- now for you- may unfurl

And dream of your beautiful soul, all grownup

 

It’s time baby girl, I love you so much

I hope to sometime meet you maybe

I only wish I was able to be your crutch

But I’m not what’s best, so goodbye my baby

Reviews

[Amit Parmessur]

Hello Emily,

I find this very interesting.

You submitted a very nice story to us, but it's so long and we wish to use more space for others too.

Can we consider this interesting poem instead?
Do send it to us.

Golden Apple
http://goldenappleezine.blogspot.com/

[Jenny Nelson]

How beautiful. I know 3 families that have adopted children. Two weren't able to conceive. The kids are all (there's a total of 14 of them) very well cared for, much loved, and very happy. I know life is rarely black and white with clear cut answers, but surely the gift of 9 months isn't too much to ask for the sake of a human life. And adoption is always and option. Wonderful, thoughtful piece.

[alesuriko]

That's really heartfelt. Wonderfully written. Always a hard thing to do... sometimes I think it's cruel to allow the mother to hold her baby she is giving up for adoption because once they take the baby away there is so much pain. However, it would also be cruel to not allow the mother to see her child at all. Good contradiction within the poem as well. Of course there is always hope which you made prominent in the ending. Well done

[PoeT4994]

Wow:-(

[NotYourChinaDoll]

I LOVE this poem. This paints the pain of loving and losing beautifully. "I longed to hold her close to me.Whisper lines from nursery rhymes, but I knew none of it would ever be". The best decisions are sometimes the hardest to make. I am a definite advocate for adoption. I hope one day to open a home/school for pregnant teens who are planning to adopt out. This poem is tragically beautiful. All summed up perfectly in your last line "But I’m not what’s best, so goodbye my baby".

[Nicole]

It's so sad, but at the same time it kind of makes me happy that she can recover from it :)

[Nickle]

well first off thank you for entering the contest :)...anyways i loved ur poem...while i was reading it my body was literally tingling...i loved how in depth it was to emotions...ur poem made me feel the love that this mother had so much that she gave her baby away and i loved the flow of everything...good poem :)

[Tate Morgan]

Excellant It is a wonder to see self reflection

[ChristianM]

Whisper lines from nursery rhymes

Very heartfelt and hit home with me. I work with kids everyday and look forward to the day I'll have some of my own. To create life and have it taken away. I can't even imagine what that's like. Hopefully something I will never have to experience.

Great poem. You spoke from your heart.

[Hi]

Hmm... let's see, I've got nothing...

No, just joking. This poem must have taken you a while to make because it sounds and looks very well written. Every other line you put a rhyming word at the end of the sentence, but i assume you did it on purpose. I have noticed a small thing that might be good or bad depending on your personal view. Well, i noticed that each stanza, that you wrote, consists of 4 lines and that maybe good or bad depending on the writer that you are. I am not criticizing your work harshly, but you could add like two more lines in some of them to make the reader to not expect 4 lines in each stanza. Really nice poem!!