A Momentary Sight

A short story dealing with perception.

A Momentary Sight

My world has always been made up of four senses. The tumult of sound. The bitterness of taste.  The roughness of feeling.  The odor of smell. Yet today they tell me I shall gain another. Yet only for a moment. I can see it will be fleeting. Endless misery comes into my vision if I go ahead. Yet my curiosity cannot look away. It stares into to void and whispers to my mind “Let there be light.” Yet I resist for I know it will be but a glance. An unfolding of a new world of which i will get only a glimpse. Yet I cannot blind my urge. Its overwhelming. Reason is blinded before it.

So I look towards the doctor and utter the fatal words.

“Go Ahead”

He flips the switch then.

Bang! It rocks me battering my consciousness.

The light streams into me wholly different from my imagination. It’s sharp cutting painfully into me.

Yet what a beautiful pain.

What a delicious taste of reality.

I revolve around new sensations ringing in my ears.

Then darkness! To sudden. I look up already visualizing the words I speak to the doctor.

“Is it over?”

His nodding words confirm it with the tiny phrase.

“Yes”

I despair.  I am incomplete. How had I not seen this before.  I see now what I have missed. Curiosity why could you not be blinded instead of me. For now I know darkness. It surrounds me. Smothers me. I see no way out. The exit to this prison so suddenly erected around my world is concealed from my sight. If only I could go back to those lush shades of life.

I live now in a world of five senses. Where will this new journey take me? I do not know for now I truly cannot see.

Reviews

[Rana Adalwolfa Simon]

Another captivating piece. I like the brevity of this one, however I think your character development could be stronger. The narrative is very enticing, but by the end, I was disappointed because I didn't feel a connection to the narrator. I wanted to feel pity for him/her, sympathy, but I couldn't justify that with only what I read here.

[C. Rose]

Great opening line "bitterness of taste..."
Great description and emotion.

Well done :)

[Riley Justine]

A little confusing, but still, somehow, a great piece to read. Despite the fact I didn't really know what was going on I still enjoyed reading it. Keep writing darlin'.

[Jennie Baron]

I agree with Rana and Mr. M. This is a great start, but perhaps you could expand it, find some connection with the reader (such as something that will enable the reader to identify with the character), and give us a little more hint of the answer to that question in the last paragraph. Well done and a fascinating subject!

[Mr_M]

This is a great base for a story. I feel it started well but lost it's legs a little. Not to say I didn't like it, I really do. I see real potential for something excellent to be born out of this short piece. I want to read more. I agree with Rana Simon. I think you should create a stronger connection to the reader.

[Mila]

Congratulations on your work winning the Need Reviews? II contest! It was well earned! :)
Good job toying with the narrative to keep the reader's attention. Well done!

-Mila