when the sea of sentiment broke

when the sea of sentiment broke

 

 

 

 

i was drowning in incontinent

waters,

tears of delivery,

as i emerged from a womb of pain

 

a paradox of birth and romantic suicide

tenuous trust moribund 

as eyes dried to the headstone

emotions buried in pools of dust

 

love decomposing like a symphony

played backwards at agonizingly slow speed

 

so each component of the heart

becomes a cliff's note

of uncompromising regret

 

as i lay flowers on my resolve

and memory myself into an umbilical

 

existence,

never to let go again.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/6/15

Reviews

[andrew mitchell]

Another multilayered write that imposes many interpretations I chose the one where maybe you didnt want to leave the comfort zone of the womb after a experiencing a bad love that died.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

interesting...thank you for your insights, andrew.

j.

[rubie]

i like to think that the birth of a new love is what follows the death of an old one.

once again, you have used metaphor and imagery to perfection here.

I enjoy the phrase of "a cliff's note"..... what we often find used as a shortcut....which can also lead to the death of a love...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, rubie.

j.

[JayceeC]

Really enjoyed the trajectory of this one. Starting with the birth of the death of love and moving to rewind the soul back to tether that is the pregnancy, the waiting period. The last image is the most interesting one. You leave these writes to your reader to interpret, but you always leave multiple interpretations. (Sometimes jacob, you make my head want to explode!) So the questions is which memory are we rewinding, or is it love itself we are withholding from. Either way tethered to an umbilical cord is just existing, but not really living.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is true about the umbilical cord...for sure.

thank you for your insights, Jaycee....i find them much better than the poem itself.

j.

[JayceeC]

And I like that you make me think! Not too many writers do.

[Miss Sharon]

What a marvelously written and intensely emotional write this is Jacob! (a paradox of birth and romantic suicide tenuous trust moribund as eyes dried to the headstone emotions buried in pools of dust) Fantastic imagery my friend...I am THERE because of it! ~Sharon

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Sharon.
j.

[paul sal.....]

feelings and emotions can be oh so heavy. birth of love can be tenuous but is always something to cherish and memories make for fertile recriminatios but its always best to hold on to the good times..................

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, paul.
j.

[Bright Ocean Star]

wow. Powerful, emotive, and incredibly dramatic. I love the tactile descriptive changes that you move us through, wetness of waters breaking to desert dry 'pools of dust', to mention of a tombstone, then immediately back to the umbilical cord. Circles of life never stop! Excellent, Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, anne...

j.

[Melinda McQueen]

This has such depth. Filled with emotion.
I like it. Well penned.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Melinda.

j.

[Olivia]

same,,, i like this style, very freeing

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Olivia.

j.

[Pryde Foltz]

so each component of the heart
becomes a cliff's note
of uncompromising regret

Superb penning, Jacob:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Pryde...

j.

[....................]

it is not in our power to choose our birth, however, it is within our power to give birth to our thoughts and ideas...sometimes we regret what we do, say or write but these instances can become a great source for better choices in the future...unfortunately we can't crawl back into that womb to stay there, no matter how hard we cling to that chord...another stellar write, my friend

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, FT.

j.