eccentrically electric

eccentrically electric

 

 

when you kissed me

there was a power surge

blew out all my fuses, politely

a pleasant outage of energy

 

bulbs cracked, delightfully

the roof moved the stars with reckless abandon

and the moon plugged us into its system

 

so we could start all over again.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/22/16

Reviews

[daninstockholm]

haha,, a deceptive little one here,, to look at it on my screen it would seem just a small church mouse, but nothing mousey about it,, very well done!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, dan.
j.

[David Scott]

There is a phosphorescence of love... It can become electric.
The moonlight seems a fitting homage.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, David.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Id really like to know whether you make house calls? The bulb in my head keeps going on and off.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the smile, Al.

j.

[Sheila Kline]

Getting plugged into the moon's system guarantees you a ticket to the ruler of the day, and when you do reach the system of the sun it's time to move the planets off their orbits........love this! I am intrigued by the use of the word "politely", leading to the "a pleasant outage of energy" - happened without you knowing it, not expecting it, but really enjoying the results without being one who just ignited the power box........LOL. Now, that's a gentlemanly response!
Great j....as always!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Sheila...

j.

[Corset]

those kinds of kisses are rare and few between, you get a kiss like that better hang on to it to warm the winter my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Corset :)

[Mary Helda]

Awwww...wow,powerful to say the least..a combination of chemistry and electricity,,,it sent waves of excitement through me...fantastic sir

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Mary Helda...

j.

[Mary Helda]

you are welcome

[iand63]

The power of a short, both electrically and poetically. This is were some of us long to be, to feel our circuits frazzling and popping with the surge of emotion that arousal brings. Another quietly gripping piece J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, ian---like that "frazzling" thing.

j.

[Daisy Ackerman]

I like the comparison to electricity, and the contrasts between words and phrases. For example, we don't usually think of a power outage as "pleasant," but in this case it is. And the moon is something natural, but it "plugged us into its system" which brings to mind imagery of technology. This is interesting.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Daisy..

j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I love this. Midway through the first stanza, a smile immediately graced my face. I so appreciate the male perspective sometimes. This seems so easy and effortless and beautiful.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Linda Marie...