too, and other reasons

too, and other reasons

 

 

reason’s composition

received a failing grade

as my heart misspelled too many words

and i ended up with too many fragments

severing the sense of my thesis

 

you were the theme upon which i built my life

but when it was time to turn in our rose colored essay

you were gone, and i plagiarized too many of your love notes

 

got caught with my dreams down

then expelled from that one class

in which i could have written too passionate

paragraphs

with "A" finesse.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/5/17

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

"got caught with my dreams down" fantastic line! The metaphor is wonderful. You describe the rise and fall of love so well. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Theme slipping from the heart of love and the plot uncovering the sad rhyme of love.

What's with the underlining?

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Al....and what underlining? none on my end....j.

[Giulia King]

You write with such depth. It was a treat to read this poem :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Gullia

j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

The teacher speaks twice. In sharing your profession and in writing this metaphor fueled account of love's demise Jacob. Always.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, John.
j.

[Im His Daughter]

To have the skill of writing this well would be a treasure.. great job Jacob..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your nice comment...
j.

[Ana B.]

the line: ''as my heart misspelled too many words'' hit hard. Loved the wisdom in your lines Jacob and a lifetime of building many fragments of the essay we keep writing and living by it, but it should be vice-versa....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Ana.
j.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Your play on words slays me - "got caught with my dreams down'. You execute with such class, dear teacher!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are kind, Kelly, thank you.
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

I wish I could craft a metaphor one-tenth as masterfully as you do with such skill and ease! A poetic Rubic's Cube with meaning intricately woven into the interlocking pieces. " Got caught with my dreams down"-astounding!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Annette,
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

While, as always, this is a metaphor fest, it is also lovely and quite moving.
Impressive work, Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Jimmy...
j.