This Property Condemned

This Property Condemned


in the crass veneer of absorption
i lost my somber shine within your hazy inception
there was a moment of reckoning,
then just a wrecking ball
knocking down the enclosure
where my heart lived,

i hadn't even moved out
still was paying a love's rent
feeling my lease was forever

now there is crumbling brick and mortar
lying in a bleak streets eminence
i am the king of nothing,
whatever furniture of emotion i owned
left when the ball struck

now i am the empty lot of you
"no trespass" signs
stand out of place
like the stark reality of us

rebuilding could be an intervention
but this addiction has no solution


i reckon.

 

 

3/8/18

Reviews

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Addiction can be setting ones self up for failure in desperate search for outcome but not the solution you are right- our addiction isn’t always their addiction sadly and can ruin us in many more ways that one- love the imagery you used to convey your thoughts- wonderful and expressive🌹

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Kelly.
j.

[barleygirl]

One of your strongest best-flowing extended metaphors of all time! Your word choices are equally supportive of the metaphor, as well as telling this story with intensity & heartbreak! *smile* Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Margie.
j.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

This is really phenomenal. The structure, the metaphor and message are well constructed.
it's great.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Kay.
j.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

you are welcome.

[Einstein Noodle]

hmmmmmm sounds pretty over to me....lot full of ruble, maybe a wino or two ..and a stray scruffy cat crossing the brick .. best to mosey on down the line pardner ;) even the ruble belongs to others now ;(((
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, E.
appreciate your words..
j.

[Kelli April]

Love how you decided to end it, because it is probably the worst part about ANY kind of heartbreak (love, loss, etc) is that there is this pain that you cannot describe, yet it is so prevalent that it is the all-consuming emotion: grief.

Glad you decided to write a bunch of new stuff! Needed something to occupy my racing thoughts ! Love this piece along with the others so far!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Kelli.
j.

[Ardra]

I guess that is the worst of it all... to love and to stay waiting....and then nothing else makes sense even a new model building does Not make you want to give away that space.... you always compare our emotions with so many variety of things..it amazes me.... :))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Galadriel.
j.

[Jennesis]

I love stopping by and getting lost in a few of your writings Jacob. Loss of anything is so destructive, leaving only rubble. The lines about still paying love’s rent feeling the lease was forever jump into my body in a visceral way. What a great way to articulate that sense of stark emptiness~

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i am glad the writings can affect you in some way...that makes me smile...
thank you, Jennread morei am glad the writings can affect you in some way...that makes me smile...
thank you, Jenn
j.

[DIVYA]

I can feel the pain still fresh under the rubble. The emptiness in the vacant space. Poignant and moving....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, DIVYA..
j.

[lightsong]

consciousness and unconsciousness, the heart and mind, the battle between them when in love the heart says yes, while the mind says no... when it's unrequited, leaving us eventually with no feelings, this what I got reading Your words.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i appreciate your insights, Light.
thank you,
j.