old blue, told in senryu

old blue, told in senryu

 

shades of bell-bottoms

you were my blond incentive

i was your pocket

 

constantly reaching

you held me close to your skin

denim adhesive

 

i became your fit

laundered till faded memory

found you reaching for...

 

and i just a patch

seam deteriorated

a frayed ex-lover.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/2/18

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Love this it’s beautiful
Great Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Julie.
j.

[Traci]

Amazing the memories we are left with. Another great one, J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Traci..
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my.....how we loved those favorite bells eh!? men and women ... so sad when the seams of patches wore out and would hold no more ;( a litany was read at each burial ...i really liked very much being the pockets on her hips sir ..i must confess ..even at me ol' age :))))))))))))))) delightful read for me
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, E.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Okay....okay a least you didn't become a rag used for window cleaning.

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

well, that's true...:)
thanks fort he visit, Al.

[Paul Bell]

When you buy new denims, you want them to fade as quickly as possible.
But I suppose in doing so, life is passing by also.
For some reason, you never throw denims out.
So in theory, your whole life is in them.
Wranglers or Levi.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Levi elephant bells...ha ha.
thank you, Paul...
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Clever way that you have approached your words Jacob. Each one of these represents a poem in itself. We all have a pair of old blue jeans tucked away somewhere. Mine also worn and if I admit it, a trifle too tight on the hips. Your words show that through her eyes she makes you feel that you only represent an insignificant part of those jeans. A pocket, a seam, a patch. I am left feeling that is not a good place to be. Cast off jeans. Sad poem, sad feelings I am left with.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Christine.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob... wonderful to see your memories patched on blue jeans.... so poetic. Reminds me of “Forever in blue jeans” by Neil Diamond.
truly, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Pat...and yes on Neil Diamond and his "Forever in blue jeans' which i wish he would have stayed...i saw him in the late 80's in concert...the singing was great...the Vegas kind of glitter wasn't...

[Neville]

This or rather these, are both individually and collectively absolutely out of this world jacob... If I had written them myself, I would be buzzing.... I still have an old patched pair somewhere that I often rescued from a trash bin or skip, having been discarded by my wife on numerous occasions........Bravo my friend... Neville

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Neville...
much appreciated encouragement.

j.

[Neville]

you don't need encouragement, take my word.... N

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really feel we all do!

[Neville]

on reflection, you are of course correct......N