Absolutely

Life being moved,

beyond my grasp.

Disabled in body,

pain  steps in again,

determined to win,

adding here, increasing there,

beginning elsewhere

and I know I'm absolutely

going to lose my mind

absolutely.

11/06/02

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

so simply written! but filled with feelings of frustration and "at the end of my rope" ... chronic pain is no joke .. not easy nor welcomed companion ... its grinding wears even the most tough skinned of us to raw edges .. prayers going up for all who suffer so .. if only for a slight breeze of reprieve!!!
E.

[Barbara Walker]

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Much appreciated;

[Rahul]

This write is ABSOLUTELY on you, i meant you made it and drop this piece from your real life from where you're being passing by. Don't worry "walker", you'll be well very soon. nicely penned you well write here about what you felt and feeling.
100/100 :)

[Andrew N. Farrens]

Hot-diggity-Dog, this is truly a great poem and I can relate completely. "Pain steps in again" is something I truly understand as my body falls apart at the relatively young age of thirty. Doctors, in their collective minds, have so eagerly diagnosed this poor uninsured Jerk-Chicken-A*s-White-Devil with psoriatic(sp?) arthritis, fibramylagia(sp?), bowel issues, migraines, anxiety(for which I refuse to treat with benzodiazipines(sp?), like xanax and valium, since those kill folks quickly both in and out of withdrawal. I prefer to treat the anxiety with medical marijuana.) high blood pressure, ear infections, trouble breathing, etc etc, that the doctors have prescribed me hydrocodone but I watch my usage as addiction runs in my family, on both my mother and father's branches of family. My father died from an overdose of vicodin and xanax in 2007. My mother is also very ill and I try to help her but in the end its always "Pain steps in again". I only give you this background information so that you would understand that I truly comprehend pain, which is something folks my age do not fully realize. With most thirty year old people of these historically terrible times, they seem to be lacking critical life experience. They understand immediate acute pain like toothaches and such but they have absolutely no idea what it means to live life in chronic pain. Constant feelings of physical hurt that drives one psychologically inward and no matter what one does, the reclusive relief never arrives as promised but that insidious prick pain loves to hang around my neck, especially if he has the company of the monkey slowly clawing up my back due to a gradual dependence, if not full blown addiction, of those death-dealing prescription pain-killers. Living in pain (or even with someone in constant agony) is stressful and the only time one can really escape the timeless torment is while asleep, when dreams make you whole ad complete again for a short time. I understand opiate dependence and addiction because it helps a victim of pain, physically or psychologically, float painlessly on a cloud of apathetic euphoria. It also helps speed up the seemingly endless hours of time until Death comes for a final visit and I figure I will then be off the fishhook that old man Pain stuck me on all those years ago. Ahhhh, to be pain-free is something worth living for, even if it means dying..........selah!
Andrew N. Farrens
Drew Kazinsky
westies209
100/100
p.S. -- So sorry for the length, grammatical and spelling errors. This poem really moved me and I am so tired, I cannot see straight but I felt I had to comment since "pain steps in again" in my life so frequently that it was a visceral shock to my system when I realized, for NOT the first time, that I am not crazy. Other people hurt too, even if you don't know it. In this era of Social Media, one forgets about others pain and sickness since it is not seen physically...........Ayup.
Kazinsky

[Barbara Walker]

Drew, I hope you are still here on the cafe. I just saw your review of this poem, two years after you wrote it. I'm sorry it took me so long to see it. Your reply shows you truly know the hell of chronic pain and for that I am sorry. If you are still here, I'd like to send a private message.

[Andrew N. Farrens]

I'm still here, just been busy and unsure with this iPhone, which is my only internet platform, so I'm not on here much. Please feel free to email me at [email protected], I will find it quicker. Please don't send me any virus or malware LoL but do let me know who you are in the 'subject' line. Thank-you.......

[Craig2591]

Your poems are very short but say so much.

[s y e]

Barbara, this is short but you always seem to ace it! I loved this, it sucks losing control especially when you dont believe you can gain that control again....

[thecoolone52]

ohhh yes looseing control sucks sometimes.... espeically when your geting older.... very intelligent write and i like the purple font... very stylish rockin the purple cat look hahaha