Detached

you had to be there

 

 

I’m lonely she said

as we stopped in the square

so she could light a cigarette.

 

I am too, I replied.

Adrift in midstream,

we plan lunch and life.

 

Stepping around grey puddles

and moss brown leaves,

Winter smells like loss.

 

 

Reviews

[Boris]

a sadness-saturated poem with traces of apathetic resignation describing a world in which life has no more significance and meaning than a simple meal, the protagonists are just content to flow along in the current of life and all that they have to share with and give to one another is loneliness.

Congratulations again on winning a medal in the contest Faith with this well-deserving poem.

[WritefromtheHeart]

This is economy in poetry in the best sense of the word! You say SO much with so few words..painting a palette on our mind's eye, giving us a sense of the loss and perhaps longing...it's wonderful Faith ;-)

[[untitled]]

"Winter smell like loss." One of the best lines ever written. I have found this place to be delightful, quiet, the noise level nonexistent ... just the sort of place i can say...hey come on over for coffee. Wouldn't it be fun if all the pre-Sims could get together?

I liked this. It was short but I could feel the detachment that the people in the poem were feeling. Good poem!