Waiting

This story is all dialogue, except for the last line. It is basically a boy who can't except that his relationship is over.

"What are you doing?" 

"Watching the clouds go by." 

"No, honestly, Ben." 

"I was waiting for you." 

"We're through, I told you." 

"Then why are you here?" 

"I saw you over here and wondered what you were doing sitting alone." 

"And?"

"And I wanted to make sure you were okay." 

"Penny, it's alright for you to-"

"You know I hate it when you call me that." 

"What? You mean Penny?" 

"Yes, Penny." 

"Alright well I won't call you that." 

"I have to go, Ben."

"I've been waiting for you, though." 

"Well you can keep waiting for me. We're done, over, through." 

"I don't understand why." 

"Because I was stupid and young." 

"But we're in love." 

"I thought I was in love." 

"And you're not still? I am." 

"Ben, I don't have time for this crap." 

"Fine, then leave." 

"I will."

"I love you, Penny." 

"Goodbye, Ben." 

I watched her boots crunch the snow as she walked away. 

 

Author's Note

Please tell me what you got out of this (i.e did you like the only dialogue? Where do you think this scene took place?)

Reviews

[Tracie Skarbo]

I thought this was interesting with just the dialogue, but I too would not like it if it were like this as a longer piece. it is too hard to figure out who is talking without a tag here and there. i thought it was in the park. could have been the pic at the start of the story.

Tigra

[Gabriella]

Just dialogue wasn't a bad idea for an experiment, but I'm sure I wouldn't like it if it were any longer. It seems like part of something. I went in thinking this scene took place in the picture you included, as I'm sure most people are bound to do. However, there's no snow in that picture so it doesn't quite work. If I hadn't seen a picture I might think he was waiting for her outside her work or school. Or maybe inside, so that when he says "watching the clouds go by" he'd be saying that in a cynical manner. Anyway, this was a very pleasant, if short, read.