Meet Me Inside a Yawning Questionnaire

Meet Me Inside a Yawning Questionnaire

A Story by Gaston Villanueva
"

"The interpretation of dreams is the royal road to a knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind"

"

Elucidate me. Help me pasteurize my thoughts because you seem to like being submerged in my contradictions. Somewhere a coder is building a little child’s dreams and has the television on mute. I spend my time watching documentaries about Hans Bethe while cuddling with a deteriorating jar of mayonnaise. We’re 16,000 light years away from the closest black hole so honk if you love rabies. Why am I here?


I get out of the car and casually walk up to the liquor store. I go to the counter and whisper to the man with the baseball hat and lawn chair magazine. “Am I at the right place?” Sir, why are you whispering? “A friend of mine told me this is where I should go for… you know.” Sir, you don’t need to whisper. “Are you trying to get caught? What kind of speak-easy are you running here?” Sir, prohibition has been done for 82 years now.


Our brains have 10 terabytes of RAM. I have so many priorities that I’ve lost sense of what the word actually means. Be unique but not “I use 0.5 mm lead in my pencil” unique. Elucidate me. Is my reality up to its elbows in vacuums because it sucks? A lamb with antlers just passed by. I’m a quagga in a zebra dominated world. You inform me that I’ve suffered from a stroke and the doctors believe it might be genius. The Milgram experiment doesn’t work very well when my thoughts are abraded and enter the public’s consciousness. Do you know me or just identify with me? I sublimate.


Popcorn and humans go together like beads on a rosary. Arguing is just sharing experiences. We are just kernels that haven’t reached their heat limit yet but believe me when I say that if the suns sneezes, we’re all going to become popcorn’s reflection. Thank you for smoking. In a hot tub with paramecium, I was the only one that couldn’t rapidly reproduce. You can numb vulnerability but you can’t numb emotion. In a restaurant I ordered for my fish, my rice, and my brain to be fried. Elucidate me. Who even buys triangle shirts in the first place? I’m glad I got fired because that place was a waste of my time.


Convenience is overhyped. A book was checking me out. “Look how she has him in the palm of her hand. I feel bad for our fellow lion, such a shame. This zoo has already confined us enough, why confine yourself even more? I should help him out. I’m breaking out.” Give it a rest, pal. I’ve told you seven times that lion she’s holding is just an animal cracker. He’s not a real lion. My train of thought needs oil and gas.


A Dalmatian named Clarence stares at the poster on his wall of one of the few that made it into the squad. Maybe someday he too can become a firefighter. Elucidate me. I eat diet mac and cheese alone under my sheets. Robber barons are now called entrepreneurs. People like reading about things they’re not supposed to know. My stomach just growled and a pack of cranky wolves took it as a sign of confrontation. When you told me to talk to the hand, I actually did and I enjoyed its conversation more than yours. I went to the parade of horrors but I forgot my umbrella.


How can I know what I think until I see what I say? My friend just gave me a ticket for a boxing match: Cassius Clay v. Muhammad Ali. I’m currently in the process of submerging myself in tree sap to ensure I’m found as a fossil millions of years from now. I’ll have a lot of time to think about what my “first words” will be. My plan is to wait 30 years and then pitch an idea where Jaws is a warm-loving children's show and Barnie is a horror movie. Eat my words. The worst thing that could’ve happened was you saying no, but it was also the second best thing that could’ve happened. I like the thrill I get when I order and dash more than when I dine and dash.


I stopped playing zero sum games when I learned about cloud seeding. I painted Van Gogh’s Starry Night but in daytime. Lost in thought and refusing to ask for directions. In addition, furthermore, however, yet, also. I write the direct in a very indirect way. The reader lives in my mind. Can I offer you a glass of water? Waking up ready to go to sleep again. In the words of Malcolm X, “While MLK was having his dream, the rest of us were having a nightmare.” Humans are like snowflakes who ignore the fact that we melt. Don’t elucidate me.


 


© 2015 Gaston Villanueva


Author's Note

Gaston Villanueva
Just trying to educate in an unorthodox way

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

elucidate me. I certainly can't. you're an enigma, Gaston :)
actually, I enjoyed the ride. while I was reading this, a video clip was playing in my head. intriguing, seemingly disjointed sequences of dreams. the kind of dreams after which you wake up and try to figure out what you message your mind is trying to pass on to you.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gaston Villanueva

8 Years Ago

That's fantastic!
I agree whole-heartedly with the dream sequence idea haha



Reviews

elucidate me. I certainly can't. you're an enigma, Gaston :)
actually, I enjoyed the ride. while I was reading this, a video clip was playing in my head. intriguing, seemingly disjointed sequences of dreams. the kind of dreams after which you wake up and try to figure out what you message your mind is trying to pass on to you.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gaston Villanueva

8 Years Ago

That's fantastic!
I agree whole-heartedly with the dream sequence idea haha
Very unorthodox indeed. Your work is not comprehensible, yet your style keeps me reading it. Perhaps a great truth is to be revealed...

Posted 8 Years Ago


Gaston Villanueva

8 Years Ago

I appreciate your feedback Marie
Thanks for stopping by again!
You've compressed here a lot many amazing thoughts, profound, unique, satirical, humorous, delicious and surely educating. The way they seem to flow, though being apparently random. This is like a witty essay providing much food for thought. Truly enjoyed this interesting ride of words.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gaston Villanueva

8 Years Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!
I like how you told me you wrote a 'normal' story. I don't know why, this sounds kinda morbid, but this kinda read like the suicide note of a mad genius, but in a good way, like its the last thing the writer ever wrote, and he leaves it behind to confuse the hell out of everyone/ by elucidating himself hes stating surreal, yawning facts to people behind the questionnaire. // Humans are like snowflakes who ignore the fact that we melt. Don’t elucidate me.// A lot of this was genius. Keep up the glory, Gaston

Posted 8 Years Ago


Gaston Villanueva

8 Years Ago

Thanks for the analysis Max
It seems as though the soil of my emotions has been under-watered.. read more

Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

478 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 27, 2015
Last Updated on May 8, 2015
Tags: facts, dreams, strange