Saved

Damsel in distress

I saw a sparrow on my sill

His song was beautiful, but still

My heart with love my soul rejoice

If he could sing my lovers voice

 

I'm locked up in this castle high

I'm reaching for him, but denied

I yell and scream and hit the door

Won't someone come I do implore

 

My mind is in a desperate state

The hour glass doeth hold my fate

I'm trapped behind these prison walls

My lover still can't hear my calls

 

I turned my gaze upon the sound

My lover standing so profound

I knew his love would never change

I'm saved, I'm saved, I called his name

 

We rode until the dead of night

He kissed me long and held me tight

With whispered words I knew were true

I love you, I love you, I do. 

Author's Note

Rescue me prince!

Reviews

[Astrid Hamilton]

I'm locked up in this castle high

I'm reaching for him, but deni8ed

I yell and scream and hit the door

Won't someone come I do implore


...i like how you added the number 8 in the above stanza, which would indicate perhaps,
that this 'damsel in distress; is locked away in this place for infinity, which the number 8 represents if turned on its side.
So my eyes almost widened, scared for the character; so the story-like poem had me on the edge of my seat, but of course, at the end, the ending transmitted a smile, all the while, infinity: LOVE

(and, not to mention, your great use of rhyme and emitting emotions to the reader, made me
want to shout out to my own prince, who is my prince because he takes me away every day to the greatest part of my heart: hope and imagination, where WE exclude devastation, and there is where he could finally hear me:

"I love you, I love you, I do."

(This is a FANTASTIC poem!

8

[Donald Cole]

wow. i really like the flow of this. It seems thought you've been sitting on that mushroom in the dark forest again. I loved your words yesterday. that was just beautiful. I had to go through the grief and loss process when they were gone. and now I see where you got those words from. ur a natural
always,
Don

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Very sweet. Love is such a profound emotion is colors wonderful pictures.
Your words flow nicely and demands a captive audience.
Nice written piece.

[Fear Corrupts!]

This is cute. Amazing. I love it. You are a good writer. This poem captured my attention from the very first sentence. Your words are exotic and just roll into the piece. Nice flow. Congrats.