An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth

I miss you in the short goodbyes

where I grab your back

trying to hold on to you as long as I can

I know it's just a few seconds

but it's these seconds

which make up for a whole night of craving

I miss you in the long nights

when I think of your lips 

and how bad I don't want to think of them

and how thinking of them

makes me think of your eyes

and I want to punch myself for the places

where these thoughts lead me

I miss you when I'm in company

because you are the first person

who pops up in my mind

when I think of who I want to sit next to

talking about serious somethings

and meaningless nothings

I miss you

even though you give me shimmering butterflies

and razor blades filled with agony

at the very same time

Author's Note

what do you guys think of it? It's my first submitted piece on here!

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like all the contradictions..."talking about serious sometthings/ and meaningless nothings"

the razor blades and the butterflies...the letting go but pulling towards at the same time.
love is often about leaving...and we savor the moments we had once they're gone...we want to pull them back...and we love someone for being with us and hate them for leaving...and we certainly can miss that person, even in a room filled with people we can be lonely.

i like the way you played on words in this.

jacob

[Paula]

Thank you very much Jacob, I've really been trying to express the exact emotions through contradictions since they are a brilliant device to do so. Your review has strongly been appreciated!

[Justin]

This is beautiful I bet if the person this is about could read this he would would cry you need to post more work

[Paula]

thank you so much justin, I will definitely do that!

[Nicholas Hagenschneider]

I really like the way you started each section of this.

[Paula]

thank you!

[Nicholas Hagenschneider]

Not a problem.

[Asmi]

"because you are the first person
who pops up in my mind
when I think of who I want to sit next to
talking about serious somethings
and meaningless nothings"


That was my favorite. We all want someone like that or we all have someone like that. There are only few people you get to do that.

"and I want to punch myself for the places
where these thoughts lead me"

I felt those two lines jarring . I mean for me I was set in this mood and suddenly I felt there was punch in my face; its not the emotion but you could have phrased it in a different way. It felt as if you went from a romantic to a rogue. :D

[Paula]

thank you very much for your review, i really appreciate it! First of all, I feel happy for you if you've got a person do to that with. And believe me or not, I was trying to find another word to replace "punch" for like half an hour, but then decided to keep it there, because it felt like the right way to express what I was trying to say. Thank you so much for your helpful advice!

[A. Amos]

Beautiful expressions about love, great work my friend...

[Paula]

thank you!

[Aisha Mnd]

I really liked this part:

"because you are the first person
who pops up in my mind
when I think of who I want to sit next to
talking about serious somethings
and meaningless nothings"

Good job!

[Paula]

thank you very much aisha. :)