Squished

tribute to a trip across NY state highways

A true story from the roads apparently too frequently traveled- and written just for M.S.

At 70 miles per hour, we became adept
At pondering lumps in the road for the tallies we kept.
“Look! Quick! There’s another mound-
What is it, what is it- what treasure this time have we found?

Wizened claw in distance stretched lovingly skywards- hmmm…could be coon,
Or possum, or groundhog- there it is, we’ll be there real soon!
“Can you tell- I haven’t a clue?”
“Let my try with my glasses- nope, add that one to the unknown zoo”

A deer on 88, oh wow! This one’s a double-header-
As we drove on, our observation skills just got better!
A color, a shape, a sense of skull, a wisp of flattened funk-
Separating “once alive” from the category, non-living roadside junk!

Seventeen stripey flattened pelts in the hot sun
Didn’t even need the stink to ID the skunk in that one!
Onwards, past both the wonderfully fresh and the fantastically bloated-
Even one lonely squished fox, once so beautifully coated.

The tallies grew, ever higher, as we drove through the sun’s bright glare-
Until we reached the county known as Delaware.
We thought for sure we’d hit the trove out there
But the sides were strangely, bizarrely, and utterly bare.

What’s going on here- look at the fields- this place should be hopping!
“Wait!” said I, “My ex lives here-might this be where his family does the shopping?”
At last, finally-relief- another little scrap of grayish fur
Pounded flat into the pavement- as if pasted with exquisite care.

Some great finds, really- a huge, withered white-tail
Balanced precariously in the final embrace of a stately guardrail;
A turkey, a seagull, and a few feathers to mark-
Some kind of a bird, its origin only identifiable as “dark”

A glorious porky, pelted like a rug’s!
It’s quills glistening even through the windshield splattered with June bugs.
Cute little bunnies, and squirrels galore
Now we know just what it is we drive the main roads for.

Woodchucks of every shape and size- grotesquely misshapen
And, at the edges, as if posted- sentry after sentry of patiently waiting raven.
“Is possum, was possum, may have been possum-“ was probably the champion
If any single species were to claim that day “Hey I won!”

Alas, though, despite our best endeavours-
Fully 50% became logged as we’ll know that one never-
Too tattered, too old, too rolled was the subject-
To be classified as more than “Unidentified Dead Furry Object”

Author's Note

You know, it really says something that this is the only poem my boyfriend ever asked me to write for him... freaking men!

Reviews

[raining]

i really laughed throughout this poem. so tongue in checky baroque caboogan good.

i like the loosened up nature of it. i have been trying to just paste the words down myself. though the ryming part is something i have never tried.

good good good, like siskal and ebert give it three or four thumbs up.

"when me and mother Anderson drive to work some days, we take some chalk and circle all the road kill...then on the way home we pick up whatever isnt circled. enough food for a week..."

so goodnight. raining

[mattavelli]

Hello, Marie! :) thats a lot of death. Haha... UDFOs. Thank you for joining in the Funny Poetry contest.

[Mary]

hahaha! what a hoot! love this one (“Wait!” said I, “My ex lives here-might this be where his family does the shopping?”) much to ponder on my next road trip, hehe

[VennelaMargame]

Loudon Wainwright approves, no doubt!

[Marie Anzalone]

Even better is that you know who I wrote this for...

[BlueLagoon]

Haha. My favorite line: “Wait!” said I, “My ex lives here-might this be where his family does the shopping?” That was so disrespectful lol. What I find the most eerie though is how the subject was so grotesque yet the writing/presentation was so neat and clean. It's a contrast Im still trying to digest. Great job!

[Ellen Hammond]

Yep it says a lot about his taste. But I must admit, your sense of humor shines through this poem. Not everyone can turn roadkill into a delightful read. I laughed all the way through it. Though it is sad so many critters get killed on the highways and byways.

[Jibey]

A bizarre bit of writing but lots of fun despite the horrors of the squished...*smiles*

[Jamie S.]

This one makes me laugh, such a creative and funny perspective about road kill! Makes me think back to the kids asking in the car, "is that deer sleeping?"
It just goes to show ya, a great writer can make anything fun to read! I hope you win this contest.

-Jamie

[S.S.P.]

casualties of progress from people who also enjoy pressing flowers :) strange world we live in. good work on a very unique subject ;)

[Through the Gateway]

BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

I love it! Delightfully gruesome.