Dear Past

A Letter to My Past

Dear Past,

 

Why do you continue to haunt me everyday of my life?

I know I messed up a lot through it 

I know I cutted so much to hide away my problems and fears

I know I failed at probably all of my relationships and blamed myself

I know I had to hide everything I cared about and loose the people I love

I know I gave up things just so other people are happy

I know I forgave all those people who hurt me because it was right even though I cant forgive myself

I know I did well in school to hide my hurt and pain and deperssion from people because I cared so much 

I know I failed at everything that I tried to do 

I know I got back up and tried again even though my heart was broken too many times

I know I can't love people because I either loose them or I fail to protect them :/

I know I held back my feelings and love when I needed it most just to see people happy

I know I faked a smile so many times everyday just to not let people know how I felt

I know I tried to end myself twice because I thought that I didn't deserve life 

I know I don't know a lot about my emotions and everything

I know I tried to help people while hiding what I though and felt because everyone else deserves love :(

So why continue to haunt me and break me?

You already know you broke me more than once so why make me hurt and feel like I'm nothing? :/