The Burning Dragon Dwells In My Suffocating Flames

The dragon that dwells beneath my soul is angry.

The fire that I had lit in my heart is suffocating, dying.

It is too hot to touch, and too far gone to save, yet I let myself try resulting in the burning of my flesh.

The smell of the ashes fills my nose.

The sparks that used to be so abundant, they were no longer found.

The beautiful amber color the flames used to create turned into a dark gray, almost numb, but still alive.

The smoke makes it hard to see and think clearly.

The poisonous air gets into my lungs and it is hard to breathe.

The dragon told me not to get lost in the forest, he told me not to wander endlessly, hopelessly.

He warned me that I was walking in to a trap.

I walked straight into a knife.

It was not until the tip of the blade reveled itself through my back, that I realized how much I was bleeding.

I saw the flames dying, perishing, as I stumbled out of the woods covered in my own blood.

Reviews

[Tazz S.H.]

WHOA girl o_o
That was.....deep. And...wow. You should make this into a monologue for some sort of story...I'd so read it :]
I always enjoy reading something from the HighSchoolAdventurer.
I especially loved the lines: "The beautiful amber color the flames used to create turned into a dark gray, almost numb, but still alive.
The smoke makes it hard to see and think clearly." and "He warned me that I was walking in to a trap.
I walked straight into a knife.
It was not until the tip of the blade reveled itself through my back, that I realized how much I was bleeding.
I saw the flames dying, perishing, as I stumbled out of the woods covered in my own blood." WELL DONE ;D

[Vertigoingnowhere]

thank you!

[Silentspeaker]

whoa.. very poignant. Dark, and true. I like. :) A LOT

[Richard]

it's really hard to read ... very painful :(
but it was a great poem

[Rick Puetter]

Dear HighSchoolAdventurer,

Nice. "The dragon that dwells beneath my soul is angry". A powerful introduction. Nice imagery. It is on the basis of such insights and powerful openings that amazing poems are born! Your poem has these qualities.

Greatly enjoyed. Loved it. Very high marks!

Best regards,

Rick

[zainul]

Wonderful write
Enjoyed reading

[R J Askew]

Good stuff. Very vivid imagery.

[sithlordjp]

Love this one.. The words are "burning" with such passion. A very engaging read, well done!

[catofjade]

Alas, my soul could weep for the beauty, and utter devastation in these lines, were it not that silver is refined in fire, and therewith is gold purified. Song Recommendation: Second Chance by Shinedown.... Life Lesson # 7: Everything, but everything, is a test. For such a beautiful, perceptive soul as yours is, those tests will be harder to bear, but make your sensitivity a strength and not a weakness, and oh what an extraordinarily exquisite butterfly you will become! Outstanding imagery, excellent momentum, great writing all around, my dear! May I suggest a Part II, since this story is not over yet? and just a thought: what if we tried to write the victory scene before we experienced the victory? How would that be, I wonder? Hmmm.....this is all from reading YOUR poem!! Thank you!

[Vertigoingnowhere]

I am a rock and roll ( all types including classic rock) fanatic. Love that song

[catofjade]

I always think of it with Meant To Live by Switchfoot...they seem to go together in my mind.

[Vertigoingnowhere]

Love them and that song.

[Inda]

Love the last line, this is great and full of great imagery! Great write.

[An owl on the moon]

What a powerful, driving force within that you've released... the emotional vibrance of the colors... the scent of the ashes... the coldness of the forest in the hauntings... Such magic and metaphor made this so bittersweet to read.

[Writer *78*]

Nice use of imagery here and wisdom is used throughout also. Your character of the dragon seems to me as if he's a wise old man and knows many things within this world. Impressive Work.

-Writer *78*

[Vertigoingnowhere]

thank you