It All

The things I have learned from you are endless,

And some of them are painful

and many of them are sweet

but all of them impart a sense of yearning,

of incompleteness,

of wanting more and of it never being enough,

upon my heart.

A big "what if?"

A what if circumstances had been different,

a what if I hadn't been so afraid,

a what if I had realized sooner what it was we had.

A what if I'm settling for all these tiny heartbreaks to avoid

the one that would have wrecked me.

A what if you are and will always be the closest

I would ever come to being 

seen.

What was that weekend morning sadness about?

When we would take it easy but I never could figure out

what it was that felt off, what was wrong.

Aries season is almost here and I can feel the intensity rising

from the sweet Pisces sadness to one

more akin to rage.

The building in my chest.

The insatiable-ness of it all, IT ALL

"it all."

As in, I want it, as in, I need it,

as in, I can't live without it but I 

also can't fit it into my fists,

especially when they're clenched so tight,

like trying to hold the entire ocean inside

my hands, inside my chest, inside my

veins, the salt water burning my eyes,

looking for an escape. Trying to

hold the impossible inside my body. 

It all.

Reviews

[kentuck14]

Again, a very introspective piece. Open your fists and let it go . . . can't hold on to something that isn't there . . . no matter how much you want it to be. If one's hands are open the "sweet bird' can fly in and land. We weren't created to hold the ocean in our hands . . . a fruitless endeavor which fragile humans can't do. The ocean is a gift not a right. Much here to contemplate.
Tom

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A very insensly sad reflection upon parting and yearning. What ifs never count they only serve to keep the wounds open. Nice flowing piece.

[Kay]

I've read a few of your poems now - you're a talented writer. =) I like the way you broke the stanzas in this piece, it follows your train of thought and emotion well. There were a few lines that stood out to me in particular: "I can't live without it but I/also can't fit it into my fists/especially when they're clenched so tight,/like trying to hold the entire ocean inside," which is very impassioned imagery. I could visualize the speaker trying to hold onto to the other person conceptually, but this notion was too big to fit in their grasp - not only because their past state was too small, but also too closed up. Also, the choice of emphasis on "it all, IT ALL/'it all' " - excellent placement for that.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I had "it all" once...but didn't know that that was "it all" at the time...then it was too late.
Can't back track, but can think of "what if's"
and it seems every poem i read here today is a stark reminder of that time and that girl...
but fists aren't clenched, because my heart does have sweet memories.
relate so easily to this one.
j.