The Opposite of HeavenlyA Story by hope.
Eternal reoccurance. (: a free write based on the idea of Groundhog's Day.
One after another, the waves crash; never ceasing. There is always the constant, melodic yet somewhat unsettling drone of the waves breaking upon the shores of the endless beach. Nevaeh often finds herself retreating to this sanctuary that she often compares her own immortality to. Many may find living this long to be a blessing, but Nevaeh finds it horrid. She lives the same lifetime over and over and over again. There is always the same family, always the same friends; nothing but her knowledge ever changes.
One would think that living the same life repeatedly would give room for improvement. One could learn a lot from it, never making the same mistakes again. On the other hand, the same people, the same events, and the same life without hope of another side, another world, or a greater being may become a dull, depressing, and somewhat traumatic existence.
There is no hope. There is no God. There is no anything. These reoccurring thoughts fill Neveah’s head countless times of every putrid day of her forever existence. She’s lived the same life, the same way, with the same people hundreds of times. Nothing ever changes.
Change is not inevitable. Change is learned. We create it for ourselves, but why? Change is something wanted by everyone. Why would one want to live the same way for years? There would be no one understanding, no one to talk to, no one to rely on, and no one to know who you really are. There is nothing that one who is immortal could do to change things. One couldn’t die without waking up alive. One couldn’t tell their life story without being persecuted. One couldn’t give anyone any hint of what is going on. Who would ever wish this burden upon themselves?
Insane. Nevaeh was going crazy. This wasn’t the first time, either. What more was there to life? Death? Yeah, right. She’s been killed every possible way there is. Natural causes, old age, stabbed, shot, suicide, cancer, car crash, plane crash, hell, she’s even been brutally attacked by a shark that just killed her. This life, this strife, it was all too much for her to handle right now.
Nothing was going right. Nothing was how it usually was. Something, there was just something different about this life as compared to the rest of them… But, what was it? She has spent days, weeks, months even trying to figure out what it was that was different, and it was driving her off the wall. She just couldn’t figure it out.
She confined herself to her room. The light began to flicker terribly, so she turned it off. Her mom came in repeatedly and her boyfriend (going on for about a millennium without his knowledge) kept calling, both worried.
Nevaeh began reviewing her past other lives: what had happened, major and minor events, emotions, people, the world; just all of it. So what was it? This had never happened before. So, what was different?
There she lay. Still for hours. Occasionally lifting her now frail fingers to scratch the itch that kept intruding the tip of her nose. What was different? All of her existence, she’s done the same thing, over and over again. She then decided to go on a walk. She looked at her phone. 3:15. Afternoon? It was too dark. Although it was really late, she left into the dark void they call the world.
She begins to straggle down the empty streets, not keeping track of time, location, or where she was going.
Nevaeh had never felt so different, so… weird. She had always known she was different, but not like this. What was this hell and how had she eternally damned herself to it?
She ventured on and found herself at the endless beach that she considered her friend. The one that would understand. The ocean was much like her life. It kept going, never dying, and even though one of its sprouts of life, that one may call a wave, crashes, it’s life continues in a new life.
This. This was what had never happened. Nevaeh had never thought so deeply about life. She never had this problem. This was the time. This was her final life. The last.
She spelt out her name in the sand. N-E-V-A-E-H. Spelled backwards it was Heaven. The opposite of Heaven, otherwise known as Hell.
Through all of her lifetimes, all of her deaths, Nevaeh had never jumped off of any cliffs. She just couldn’t do it. The height, the pain, the falling, it all scared her so much. These reoccurring thoughts filled her head, as her sanity struggled to remain in contact with her conscious mind. Nevaeh was on the edge. Not only on the brink of life to death, but she was literally looking down to those countless waves crashing among the rugged, misshapen rocks at the base of the cliff in which she was about to dive off of. This was it.
Nevaeh began to soar. Never in her continuation had she felt as free as she did as she flew. All she thought about now was that gentle abyss that she would soon encounter. Death never felt so good.
One after another, the waves crash; never ceasing. There is always the constant, melodic yet somewhat unsettling drone of the waves breaking upon the shores of the endless beach. Nevaeh often finds herself retreating to this sanctuary that she often compares her own immortality to. Many may find living this long to be a blessing, but Nevaeh finds it horrid. She lives the same lifetime over and over and over again. Nothing would ever change, yet, nothing would ever be the same. Not after her most recent, previous life. All hope was lost.
© 2010 hope.
Twin Falls, ID
Abouti'm a girl. (: i love writing. and i seem different than what i write. sometimes life gets hard, but i gotta keep going. you keep me alive. (: more..