Letter Home

This is a letter that I wrote, and read to my father. Upon doing so, we shared a few tears and worked out alot of our differences. Writing is a powerful tool.

Dad,

         A countless amound of memories could seep from the words scribbled throughout this letter home. However, I've found it difficult to conjure up the "more important" father/son memories I hear many sharing between each other. Memories of their fathers taking them fishing, or teaching them how to shoot for the first time, spring from their lips with excitement. I believe that memories of this nature are impervious to duplication.

      Often, I find myself drifting backwards in thought, through struggle, fighting tears, just to uncover the memories of myself as a child; playing with clay to keep myself entertained while I joined you in your college classes, or laughing hysterically as you flipped me various directions off a bed, rarely raised from the floor, All these memories are great. They bring the biggest smile to my face. However, they seem so distant, so faded. I can only remember bits and pieces of my childhood, few however, crafted into memories I would care to keep forever.

      Do I dare question why I have so few of these memories? I probably shouldn't, but find myself continuing on anyways. Why can't I remember? Is it simply because these memories never existed? So many questions I would trade even talent to know the answer to. Life is full of questions, yet we are left the power to mold our own opinions while quietly complaining to ourselves about the solutions we stand so strongly aside.

      This letter home to you was not written with the goals of saddening you, or unburying memories we wouldn't care to keep confined forever. This is just a reminder, dad. Every day, I grow up. Every morning, I shed a wave of child like innocence, pushing emotion and dreams deeper; reinforcing the responsibilites of adulthood we are inclined to face upon starting our lives.

      Dad, you have been the driving force behind who I am as a person, who I want to be, and who I will be. I refuse to give up on any of my dreams or ambitions. Having heard it so many times, the statistics of actually succeeding are engraved throughout my mind. Whether or not I make it in music, or end up working in a nursing home for the rest of my life, I will push on towards my my dream of becoming a professional musician.

      People always ask me why I started playing the guitar. The guitar has had such an influence over me, it almost seems unreal. It's an instrument of emotion, and raw power. Never have I spoken up and told anyone; you were my inspiration. I remember that moment, it clicked. That one time I coud honestly take a step back, look at myself, and say that I wanted to be just like my dad in some sense.

      Dad, I can't think you enough for putting up with me, whether it was sneaking off to concertsm two early tattoos, or even getting caught up in some of the wrong stuff. I promise you that I will grow to be the man you know I can be. Often, we bump heads. Perhaps we even have communication problems. It's not either our fault. It's who we are. Never would I change who I am for someone else, or ask the same of anyone.

      What's important is that we made it. I think that since I moved out, It's made the "here and there" conversation more interesting, and enjoyable. Sometimes, I even find myself looking forward to your next phone call. I want you to know that I don't blame for for any of the inconveniences we had to face as a family. The way I see it? Well, some family had to have the obsticles thrown their way. It just so happened to be ours. Times were hard, but we pushed on, and guess what? We made it. I'm all grown up, and I'm ready to start my life.

      College will be scary, but I'm rediculously excited. Going and seeing my dorm room, exploring the campus, and meeting the professors has set me on a whole different level of ready. I'm not ashamed of being scared, or nervous. I would possibly be worried if I weren't.

      Many times you've told me that whatever happens, you will always love me. That leaves me with confidence. Many times you've told me that you wanted me to be a better man than you were, and are today. That leaves me with the drive to reach higher, and be the best person I can be. 15 seconds of whispered conversation has given me the confidence, and drive to take my future head on. Thank you so much for those memorable 15 seconds, dad. I love you.

 

Love,

Your son, James.

 

 

Author's Note

This was actually an extremely hard peice to write, possibly the hardest. It took me about 4 hours. So much emotion being compiled into a 2 1/2 page letter can get frustrating. I posted this in hope of inspiring some of you to rise to the challege of strengthening that bond you have with your parents. You never know exactly how long you have somebody.