So Not Over You

Even when you know you should be, sometimes you can't help it.

Your texts were my alarm clock each morning,

Buzzing to our tune to alert me

And saying, "Morning, sweetie. How are you feeling?"

I would lay in my bed, grasping my heart

And smiling ridiculously as we poked fun at each other

Preparing for the day to start.

And it was wonderful, for a while

But we began to notice the imperfections in each other

And our irritations made for quite the pile.

And you started making me cry

Early in the morning

And very late at night.

Curled up with the teddy bear you gave me last Valentines

Tightly against my chest

And dying slowly inside.

I began not to get a, "Sweet dreams, my love,"

And instead I got squat

And we had nothing to speak of.

And we separated, shortly thereafter,

It was mutual, really,

But still I was haunted by the lack of my laughter.

I was hollow for the longest while,

A case for someone who gave her heart away

And every centimeter step I took, without you, it was a mile.

And then you came back to me,

Begging, honestly,

And for a short time, we were again happy.

But we should have known that those imperfections

Can't be fixed so easily

Because, for the second time, someone else had your affections.

And again, we separated,

I wanted to be the only one you wanted,

But again I felt heavily sedated and saturated.

The next time you wanted me back though,

The hole you made in me by leaving opened wider,

And I had to say no.

I cant allow myself to be a doormat,

Even for the one I loved so deeply,

Because if you truly loved me, our life wouldn't just be a news broadcast.

I saw the hurt in your eyes, or, it was probably actually surprise,

Because I don't think you expected me 

To be the reason for our relationships ultimate demise.

And I still cry myself to sleep at night, sometimes,

Cuddling with the teddy bear you gave me whose stuffed heart was ripped long ago

And I think of what we could have been had you not been full of lies.

And though I know I said I had no more feelings, that we were totally through,

And that you could, "find business elsewhere,"

The truth is, I'm still so not over you.

Author's Note

This got me on the top writers list. x) Thanks to everyone. xP

Reviews

[Just Kim]

Such a heart breaking read, You expressed well
Like how you sat this up.

[Riley Bray]

Thanks. :)

[minnie:)]

this is sad, the way the poem is written is beautiful yet emotional
very nice poem :)

[Riley Bray]

Thank you. :)

[Shy]

Not sure if I need to ask "Whats wrong?"
Or you just felt like writing a good-depressing poem

[Riley Bray]

Second one. I don't usually write from experience but how I think the person would feel. Then I put it in first person. :P I think it turned out nicely though and is a good follow up for my other poem This Time You'd Better Go.