childish things.

childish things.

A Poem by jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)

small hands held
deepocean secrets
and the monsters stayed safe
in the closet
where i put them

© 2013 jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)



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Reviews

it's amazing
short and dripping with delicate vision

Posted 1 Year Ago


18 words of potential collective horror wrapped in hope and victory. Sweet and very familiar Jenn....!


Posted 2 Years Ago


There is a darkness hidden in these tender words... of secrets... of monsters locked away... Childhood can be filled with joy... and also haunted memories...

Posted 2 Years Ago


really wonderful piece...great job!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Another gem!

I find that "childish" is too harsh a title considering the contents of the poem. Perhaps consider changing the title to something like closet things, closet, their secrets, or tucked away. To add a dash of ambiguity, I sometimes like to give a poem a single word title. (I, personally, have always found titles tricky. I can sympathize with e.e. cummings in that regard.)

Anyway these are your words, and it's up to you how you use them. These are a few suggestions from my side ;)

PS - Perhaps the poem should just be titled "children" ?

Posted 3 Years Ago


Love the way u used those words , very thoughtful.
Well written great read.
-sheri

Posted 3 Years Ago


breathless my dear friend. I still want to put you in my pocket :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


I liked this. Thoughtful. Subtle word choice. Really awesome work.

Posted 3 Years Ago



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345 Views
9 Reviews
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Added on December 2, 2013
Last Updated on December 2, 2013

Author

jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)
jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)

Vancouver, BC, Canada



About
Playful and eager to explore new styles of writing, and to hone my skills. i'm reaching a point now where i can write a poem and be able to say that it is something i really like. I'm an avid reader, .. more..

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