childish things.

childish things.

A Poem by jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)

small hands held
deepocean secrets
and the monsters stayed safe
in the closet
where i put them

© 2013 jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)



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i love the twist here...not the child afraid the monsters will come out of the closet and get her, but she has placed the monsters there for safe keeping...their safety.
those deepocean secrets...i like that phrase.

first poem i have read of yours...and i really like the style of it.."less is more"

Posted 2 Months Ago


short, sweet, and marvelous. Truly love your style of writing.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Those monsters occasionally wake us from the most hellish of nightmares, even when we're all grown up. Love the impact of this in its succinct form, Jennie.

Posted 2 Months Ago


it's amazing
short and dripping with delicate vision

Posted 2 Years Ago


18 words of potential collective horror wrapped in hope and victory. Sweet and very familiar Jenn....!


Posted 3 Years Ago


There is a darkness hidden in these tender words... of secrets... of monsters locked away... Childhood can be filled with joy... and also haunted memories...

Posted 3 Years Ago


really wonderful piece...great job!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Another gem!

I find that "childish" is too harsh a title considering the contents of the poem. Perhaps consider changing the title to something like closet things, closet, their secrets, or tucked away. To add a dash of ambiguity, I sometimes like to give a poem a single word title. (I, personally, have always found titles tricky. I can sympathize with e.e. cummings in that regard.)

Anyway these are your words, and it's up to you how you use them. These are a few suggestions from my side ;)

PS - Perhaps the poem should just be titled "children" ?

Posted 4 Years Ago


Love the way u used those words , very thoughtful.
Well written great read.
-sheri

Posted 4 Years Ago



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12 Reviews
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Added on December 2, 2013
Last Updated on December 2, 2013

Author

jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)
jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)

Vancouver, BC, Canada



About
Playful and eager to explore new styles of writing, and to hone my skills. i'm reaching a point now where i can write a poem and be able to say that it is something i really like. I'm an avid reader, .. more..

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