Futile

Stupidity has been the engine of my motives.

Falsehood has instructed my choices.

Suffering has bound me to bondage.

Pain has escorted me to pain.

This is so funny. Given all of me to be left with none of me. No memory of me.

Love has gone unseen, unfealt, unappreciated.

So now..

It's clear these streets i walk alone.

Many scrutinise my walk, claiming my efforts are of purpose, that my goal is just within sight.

How the hell could I have come back here? To a hell so familiar?

MY heart beats once.

I've given everything, leaving nothing behind?

For what? Oh, for love, for someone to realise that my love is and is not for show but meaning.

Someone!

Im tired, I'm weak, I'm restless, I'm stressed, I'm sad.

Yet it doesnt matter, because at the end of the day, I'm the fool.

Im the one who went all out for love.

I'm alone. In the midst of everyone shouting how they're with me, this isnt bigger than me,

Im alone.

Waiting by a phone which wont ring?

Sitting by pictures, sleeping with memories as if they were my bride?

The phone finally rings, but for what comfort?

I wish. To remind me that love actually plays no part in a relationship.

How can it? If your love can exceed the very life you reside in, only for one to so easily over look it.

How can so much go so wrong in so little time?

How can EVERYTHING YOU LONG FOR COME BACK TO BITE YOU, SPITE YOU IGNITE YOU THEN LEAVE YOU!

The calls stop, the convos are shortened, and your left wondering, trying to keep your head above before the tears drown you.

And no answer comes. Noone told you things would be easy, yet no one told you things would be this hard.

Love, love is not an emotion, be not fooled.

Love can only be seen in times of trial.

Though in this case, love is a mystery.

My love was more vivid than the sunset yet so unseen as the moon in the pressence of the sun!

But now, where has it left me?

Writing a poem, about how awful i feel.

Constructing another useless poem about my life and experience only to end it and continue living it.

On my way to my last piece, i instruct whoever wills to hear,

Dont love to be loved, else you will never love.

My burden best be spent as a lesson.

God is good, not mankind.

~~The End~~

 

Reviews

[BlessedLove]

In reading this poem again...I've realized a lot more.
And i notice this with most, if not all of your poems...everytime you read them...u realize something different...almost like reading the Bible...I had to read this again.
I know not what to tell you that will make you understand that things do not have have to be this hard.
All of this comes right down to choices...and thats the painful thing.
There's a reason you're going through all of this...I really wish I understood why tho..
Wish u did too...
But for the time that you aren't able to understand its purpose.....don't fight it.
Odd..yes, I know...can't believe I just said that.
But yea..I believe that compensation will befall you..whether in this life or the next...But just know that...you WILL be happy one day...I can feel it.
You deserve to be happy...to be in control of what can hurt you..and what cannot...
But this control cannot come if you continue to go down this path...it just can't...
I think you just need to do some serious analyzing....and once you've analyzed ur situation(s)...you need to make a move...to fix it.
Lastly...Josh..u are not a fool.
We tend to call ourselves that when we get into situations that do not work out...how can you cal urself a fool when you didn't know what to expect?
What you need to do is just take what has happened a learn from it. Life...love...yeah, they're both risks...you go on believing in these things..not knowing what to expect...ppl would normally diagnose these situations and say its because of your choices but...when u haven't experienced things of this caliber previously...how do you know which choice is right from wrong....
You can only call urself a fool when you've gone through the exact situation prior to this...
Which i'm sure u haven't...
Just think about what I've said...as I mean no harm..believe it or not.

God Bless.

~~Blessed~~;)

[Gina]

INTRESTING

[Walkingblind]

This is heart-breakingly emotional, your feelings seep off the screen
reminding people what it feels like to be trully alone after giving of
themselves to another human who falls just as much as they do:

Waiting by a phone which wont ring?
Sitting by pictures, sleeping with memories as if they were my bride?
The phone finally rings, but for what comfort?

We women aren't the only ones who wait for that phone call
that we know wont heal us, but just start the hurt all over again
thank you for sharing this, and your poem wasn't useless
remember everyhting has meaning, even hurt.