Mine

Mine

A Story by Cristina

Last time I saw you, we were sitting in the middle of that field. I still miss that field even though we only went there once. As we were laying there I was trying to resist the temptation of leaning on your shoulder, being in your arms.


We were just looking towards the nothingness in front of us and I was imagining we had a contest about who can stay still for longer. But soon I noticed your hand trying to reach mine and I knew I won. That moment, that one moment, I had you. And maybe the one afterwards too. 


Your hand reached mine and my heart started racing. I made a silly joke to make it go away and all of a sudden we were having one of our grass fights. We've never had grass fights before. I wasn't nervous anymore, not even when suddenly you turned on top on me and looked straight into my eyes. I closed mine because I was too scared to look inside you. I wanted to tell you: "You have to let go of me." I couldn't. I always stop myself from saying important things. You didn't seem to notice I was troubled, to you I was perfectly cut out from the wildest dream. 


My heart was racing again and you seemed tense.


I loved you that day and maybe I even love you today, now, but I love him every other moment.


© 2014 Cristina



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Featured Review

I liked the format of this; the journal-like structure. It gives it a very personal twist and I like that. Very relatable! A few grammatical and punctuation errors to fix, but nothing major and easy to amend with some proofreading.
Your writing style is refreshing and I really enjoyed it. :)

~Stefanie

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cristina

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much. This is the first review I've ever got so I'm so happy it's a good one.
Stefanie Holmes

3 Years Ago

I feel honored to have given you your first review! :)



Reviews

I like your writing stile as previeous reviewers said it has a journal touch to it. It gives me as a reader as sence that it is "impuls" writing which journals often are.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Cristina

3 Years Ago

It is exactly what it is. I only write in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. thank you for .. read more
The start of a new romance is always exciting. getting carried away in the moment is human nature.
A lovely write.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Cristina

3 Years Ago

thank you very very much!
that moment in time funny how it can last a lifetime

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cristina

3 Years Ago

Usually it feels like the simplest things, stick in your head forever and ever...
"That moment, that one moment, I had you. "
Yes, that moment in the poem "had" me as well, I could feel that knowledge, that power, I knew exactly what you were describing.
And making a joke, to cut the tension, turning it into a grass fight, how many times have we done that, when what we really want is to surrender to the other.
Closing your eyes because your were too scared to look inside the other.
That reminds me of what I try to describe in my poem, If I Came There, http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/NoelHC/1330288/
That fear.
I love this piece Cristina, it is added to my library favorites.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cristina

3 Years Ago

Thank you very much, I read a lot of your work and I must say it's one of the most beautiful thing I.. read more
NoelHC

3 Years Ago

I appreciate your kind words, and enjoy your work a lot myself.
I liked all three of the stories you wrote, but this one is my favorite. Usually romantic plots, especially ones with love triangles, aren't my favorite, but I liked this one. I like the last line, too, where it says 'and maybe I even love you today, now,'. It makes you wonder what makes 'now' so special. It would be a nice way to lead into more narrative, or it can stand alone as it is.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Cristina

3 Years Ago

I am usually not a 'lovey-dovey' writer, but lately it feels like only such ideas come into my head... read more
This piece is really relatable, I liked the part about the grass fights. Nice work!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cristina

3 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
I liked the format of this; the journal-like structure. It gives it a very personal twist and I like that. Very relatable! A few grammatical and punctuation errors to fix, but nothing major and easy to amend with some proofreading.
Your writing style is refreshing and I really enjoyed it. :)

~Stefanie

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cristina

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much. This is the first review I've ever got so I'm so happy it's a good one.
Stefanie Holmes

3 Years Ago

I feel honored to have given you your first review! :)

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238 Views
7 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 24, 2014
Last Updated on April 24, 2014
Tags: love, loneliness, heartbreak, sadness, fragments

Author

Cristina
Cristina

Austria



About
I first started writing a while ago, as I was unable to sleep at night and I decided to start publishing little stories on Tumblr. There is not much to say, what I write started as a mini journal and .. more..

Writing
The One The One

A Story by Cristina



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