the Story of Ana

a prose about anorexia

I remember when it all began,

when I found the courage to "be thin."

I was like any other preteen girl

growing up in the media obsessed world.

 

In the beginning

my intentions were good:

just lose ten pounds

to be healthy as I could.

I joined the track team

and made some friends,

learned how to eat healthy

and stop the binge.

My track friends followed

all the cool celebs

and got me caught into

the fashion web.

I looked at the models

and soon I aspired

to be thin as them

because I was inspired.

 

By month two,

ten pounds wasn't enough.

If I wanted to look like Kate Moss

I'd have to work my way up.

I ran two hours a day

and cut down on my food.

I lost five more pounds,

yet I still was not through.

I found out about Ana

and instantly fell in love.

I joined a blog where "skinny"

  was something to be proud of.

"Control your weight

and control your life",

it became a saying

that I began to live by.

 

As high school came along

my life severly changed.

My parents became worried,

saying I was "underweight".

I was still on the track team,

but had very few friends.

I no longer talked to those girls,

who said I was too thin.

I felt so alone and depressed

unless I was on the blog,

where I got recognition

about my excessive weight loss.

Only there could I post pictures

and have people say I'm there "thinspiration":

5"7 and one-hundred-ten pounds,

I was their chief "skinny" demonstration.

 

By age fifteen I started going

to the eating disorder clinic.

I told them I was completely fine

and didn't need teir two cents put in it.

I worked out more and more

and I rarely ever ate.

I wanted gaps between my thighs,

I felt that it was fate.

But my grades started slipping

because I couldn't concentrate.

I was so tired and exhausted,

my body became my biggest hate.

I could never do anything right

and that's when the voices began:

"You'll always be a fat cow.

You'll always be less than".

 

By seventeen I was flunking

all of my high school classes.

I focused more on my regime

than gaining desirable assets.

I had never had a boyfriend

because I was always so busy

weighing myself against other women,

trying to be the most skinny.

But somehow, someway

it all got out of control.

By eighteen I was one hundred punds

and skinny as a bean pole.

Yet I looked in the mirror

and all I saw was what was wrong.

My weight was controlling me

throughout the years all along.

 

I didn't want to get help,

I still thought that I was okay.

All my friends on the blog

thought the exact same way.

But when it was time to go to college

my parents wouldn't let me leave

until I finally went to the doctor

for the "help that you need".

I only went to shut them up

so that they would calm down.

The doctor asked me some questions

and when I answered she frowned.

She asked me to ly down on the floor,

said that she was going to trace me.

I thought that was really weird

but figured that it sounded easy.

 

When she was done and I got up

she asked me to tell her what I saw.

I saw a tiny little body,

jutting bones and hips and all.

But I couldn't believe that it was mine

and I rushed for the door to leave.

Tears flooded my eyes

as that doctor grabbed me by the sleeve,

"This illness is going to kill you

unless you get some help",

and that doctor struck a chord with me

because that's the day I began to rebuilt my health.

 

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think. This topic has been on my mind ever since I accidently ran into a "thinspo" montage on youtube that made me sick. I myself struggled with an eating disorder for a couple of years, but never had the media (blogs, internet, etc) that young girls seem to have now. It's an issue that must be talked about.

Reviews

[Celestial Witch Child]

This is really disturbing and eye opening. You portrayed this issue perfectly. I love how you ended with the main character going through that self-realization and beginning the transition into recovery. Very hopeful and inspirational. Great write. I applaud you.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

A truley amazing poem about something so real and so deadly..yet few talk about it. Well written and well done!

[Rockett Marie]

You will inspire girls every where with this poem. :) haha. im calling tyra banks! ;P.

[Coyote Poetry]

It is sad what the media bring to us. Beauty is the only thing that it is important. We need to teach the real beauty of life. My hero was a beautiful woman name Rachel Corrie. She was a life shield protecting poor woman and child with faith and her body in the Middle East. She was killed showing love and true beauty. The Palestine people call her the Beautiful American. Good friends must insure their friends are okay and make them feel beautiful. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Jordan A. Wilson]

this was fantastic. very touching and real subject matter.

[Crazy Cat Man]

man this is a powerful piece. im glad young girls as urself is trying to bring awareness to this problem. bravo to u. ur on a mission. :)

[Falling Leaf.]

This is just great, Kayla. The story is rotund and whole, keeping my entranced beginning, middle, and end. Superb. I only found two problems: fourth stanza. '...there "thinspiration." ' That should be their. Also, fifth stanza. You misspelled their in "...teir two cents put in."

Nevertheless, this was exquisite. I can't relate personally, but looking at some of the girls in my school, it was very touching. Thank you for sharing.

[TheReal]

The flow you kept, the rhyme scheme, everything was impeccable. You did a great job telling the story. I loved that you switched from you having control of the weight to the weight having control over you. Great job!

[afra]

wow ..for me it was beautiful and sad too ...well done

[Tai Ryens]

A disturbing issue indeed. You portray it wonderfully, and though I'm not too big a fan of endings like yours, I liked it.