Free The Neurons

It was in my distant past

That I cared enough to tell you

Just how horrible I felt inside

How I felt stuck to my own life...

With the most toxic, indissoluble glue.

Now, however, it's different,

You hold me hostage in this position,

I fake smiles and crack jokes and never let on

Because I'm afraid that if I try to leave again

Your compassion will have gone

If I try and fail, that you will cry, and yell,
And scream at me-

All of the things you feel you should have done,

Differently...

All of the things you could have phrased less,

Frantically...

All of the people you wish had never

Been around me...

All of the times you wanted me to act less,

Dramatically...

While every day you make the blame mine,

Every day you wonder why I feel I have no time...

Everything, you know, you could have done less,

Erratically...

But I don't really care. Nope, that's not me.

I'll trail off, into the silence of another room,
And keep on waiting, inevitable doom?

Waiting for the time to come when I can
Finally leave

Waiting for that first breath of air away from you,
To define me,
Or at least someone I'll want to be, I'll want something,

Anything, anyway,

I know I'm not supposed to feel this way

But I think, this is where I'll stay...

Until I breathe, that first breath, that it might be my last..

I will keep wondering...
What it will be?

Will it give me hope,
...or will it set me free?

Reviews

[Kira S]

Oh man, I really felt this in my heart. The imagery here is absolutely wonderful, and the way the third stanza's rhythm keeps skipping really catches your breath. Great job!

[skeletongirl]

wonderful read, i love this.

[Indra's Child]

Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it.