Tracer Bullet

journal entry in class I decided to share.

Case File 2041, September 14^th, 1929.  Mr. and Mrs.  Dinkleberg and Ms. Zuckerberg in the Hinatchi gang mix-up.  Final report.
Mrs. Dinkleberg,
I must painfully regret to inform you that your husband was indeed cheating on you, but it was the only way that he could keep you safe from the wrath of the mob bosses of Frank Hinatchi.  As was previously anticipated, he was heavily in gambling debt with one of Frank’s casinos.  Ms. Zuckerberg was someone who could keep him distracted from attacking you in order to make you pay.  She was one of Frank’s secretaries, and was able to keep the file of the gambling debt off his table if Mr. Dinkleberg gave her “what she wanted”.  In truth Mrs. Dinkleberg, I had been on the trail of Frank for quite some time even before you came to me with your case.  I realized that I could use this case as a way of finding evidence to convict Frank of a crime that could incriminate him for life.  As I trailed your husband to the building of Frank’s headquarters, I was able to sneak in and follow them closely.  Apparently your husband was going to end his affair with Ms. Zuckerberg in exchange for him being a personal member of Frank’s gang.  Unfortunately, Mr. Hinatchi  was in a bad mood, and proceeded to shot your husband in the head.  I had a camera with me this whole time, and managed to get the evidence I needed before getting spotted by the big man himself.  There was a few minutes of gunfire, but then the police came and picked up the big guy and all his cronies, and I gave them the evidence they needed.  Sadly, your husband was dead even before I was able to take the picture.  I am truly sorry for your loss, and all I can give you for comfort is this: He chose to face his fears rather than spend another day cheating on the woman he loved.

Tracer Bullet
Private Eye.

Author's Note

Please be critical. Tell me what you think. Tracer Bullet 1.5 is now out if you want the extended version of this.

Reviews

[New Theory]

Aha Noir, I love this, hard boiled detective fiction is the best. It eludes that charm unlike anything else. Its like Jazz music.

[Mockingbird]

this has all the elements of film noir. from the criminals, the poor guy who gets himself into a bad situation, a femme fatale, and the good wife. not to mention the one thing that defined film noir and that is the detective. this is a great short story.

[Bethany_Savy]

I really like this. It seems like a short story. It has all the elements needed to be a short story. It was very descriptive of what happened each step of the way. I love the way that you ended it. That line says a thousand words and seems to be a moral, not just of the story but of life itself.
I could see this becoming a book. This could be the Preface for it then the whole book itself could be a flashback and go into more detail of what happened. For example, how did he become addicted to gambling and when did his wife think he was cheating on her the first time. Good job Miles :)