WHAT? Have you seen my ear?

It began as any other day, except he almost lost an ear. During an argument with Walt, Dave was pulled off the top of his bunk and while gravity took him to the ground, the right side of his head made a direct impact on Walt's shot glass. 'Un-f*****g-believable' Dave thought, he also thought 'this hurts like a b***h.' Walt called Sarah to come in and take a look at Daves ear. Sarah wasn't a nurse, but she was a woman. She knew how to take car of men, it's in her DNA.With blood everywhere and a visible hole in Dave's ear, Sarah urged Dave to go to the hospital. 'Nah, I will go tomorrow, I am drunk, I can't go now, I will go tomorrow,' Dave kept on protesting.

 

Dave went to the hospital the next day and told the Doctor what happened, neglecting his drunkenness. "Well, we can't stitch you, it's been twelve hours since the incident and um, we just can't do it. I would however like to talk to you about your underage drinking,'' the Doctor explained. Without missing a beat "Oh no sir, I wasn't drunk. It was my room mate, Walt, who was drunk and yeah, he pulled me off the bunk bed onto HIS shot glass,'' Dave innocently murmurred. "OOOhh, your room mate did this? Do you want to play a trick on him?" asks the Doctor. "Is this guy Punking me,'' thought Dave, who then nonchalantly replied, "Sure."

 

The Doctor told Dave to tell Walt that because the ear was now dead (which it was not), they had to cut off the ear. The Doctor put gauze on Dave's head and some red tinted solution right above his ear, "Yeah, this looks perfect, just tell him that we will try to sew it back on next week.'' Still incredulous, Dave just went along, just waiting for the other shoe to fall off. But it never did and like a crazy, freshly lobotomized psych ward fugitive, (think Frankenstein) Dave swaggled through the busy streets of Boston back to his apartment to tell Walt the great news.

 

Dave stumbles into the room, making sure to make enough noise to get Walt's attention. Surprised by the pastures of gauze on Dave's head, Walt grumbles ''Whoa, what happened man? What'd the doctor say?'' Trying his Broadway's Best with a forced solemn facial expression "Yeah man, they had to cut off half of my ear (pausing to waiting for a response....no response), buuut they are gonna try to put it back on next week.''

 

As if giving Dave advice, Walt mentions, "Well bud, I hope everything works out.''

Reviews

[Motherless]

This is a great description of how a friend would respond, unbothered and uncaring. When you have a crisis DON'T call Walt!
Well done Topaz.