What It Means To Sink

What It Means To Sink

A Poem by ohsograceful
"

water fills everything

"

Water seeps into everything.

I practice origami,

Folding myself smaller and smaller,

but I’m surrounded.

The thought of oxygen rips my chest open

and salt makes eyes useless.

sweaty palms and cruel fingers push me down.

I used to resist, but

with every panic filled movement

I sink further.

each wound from uncut nails

paints my cage red.

I have to stop the water,

To find the sun, and

evaporate my grave.


© 2017 ohsograceful



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This a really interesting poem. I like that it reflects the theme with every line and the metaphor of drowning really fit with the message. The way you say "evaporate my grave" is fitting, and the imagery in this is wonderful. It's been a long time since I've read one that spoke to me like this one did. I like the lines "I practice origami, folding myself smaller and smaller but I'm surrounded". That was great wording for what I think you were trying to say. Overall, I think this is one of my favorite poems and I'd put it right up there with "The Jabberwocky". Though they are polar opposites they are both wonderful, and I could read them over and over until I've memorized them by heart.

Posted 8 Months Ago


I think this is really good. “I practice origami, folding myself smaller and smaller” was my favorite line. The wording throughout the whole poem reflects the theme of sinking, and “evaporate my grave” was a really interesting twist.
Glad to have read this!

Posted 8 Months Ago


If you are anything like me, writing is the most direct path to grave evaporation.
I really enjoy your work.

Posted 11 Months Ago


ohsograceful

11 Months Ago

Writing is definitely something I do for me, it's very cathartic. And thanks, it's always nice to fi.. read more
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Gee
One of the hardest parts of life is finding a version of ourselves that WE can love and then finding a happy place to live in with folk that love us warts and all. After that it is plain sailing all the way, well, it's easier.
Enjoyed your writing OSG

Posted 11 Months Ago


Oh, wow! This was amazing. The first few lines in felt like a swift punch to the gut, and overall, I relate to these feelings personally. Thanks for sharing this!

Posted 11 Months Ago


Wow! I love the last few lines... brilliant work!

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ohsograceful

11 Months Ago

Thank you, it's one of my favorites :)
that was really great :) very powerful :) great job :)

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

powerful imagery in this piece

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Such a sad place for the soul...to have nothing left but for the need to disappear....hope for the end! I practice origami,
Folding myself smaller and smaller, great line

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ohsograceful

11 Months Ago

Thanks :) I agree, there's hope for an end
Very nice imagery used, as said in a previous comment. I particularly like the like 'I practise origami. folding myself smaller and smaller'. It straight away gave me a figurative image of people folding in upon themselves, or even hiding their true selves within layers over their own exterior. Very nice read!

Posted 11 Months Ago


ohsograceful

11 Months Ago

thank you! The idea of folding in on yourself has always been very interesting to me

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11 Reviews
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Added on November 27, 2017
Last Updated on November 27, 2017
Tags: sink, depression, water, sun

Author

ohsograceful
ohsograceful

VA



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