Shattered Soul

What are you suppose to do
When your heart is breaking
And your soul, split in two

When Fate throws you curve balls
Twisting and changing your hopes
Silently, your spirit falls

Acting like everything is fine
With a smile on your face
Quietly, wishing you were mine

Pushing the tears away
Locking them deep inside
Every night you begin to pray

Years of feeling incomplete
Wishing for just one touch
Longing for the passion and heat

So used to the numbing pain
When it starts all over again
You don't cry or even complain

It feels disturbingly all too natural
To feel a piece of your heart is missing
When the soul splitting is completely  factual

Reviews

[ICE]

You have a typo in the first stanza third line. Its either into or in. In the second staza maybe you should chnage the you to your in the second and third lines. Other than that its great. I feel like this piece is about someone suffering from depression.

[Bette]

as always the improvements are better.

[The Analog Kid]

The reworked version is better. Not as wordy and the rhyme works better:)

Patrick

[The Analog Kid]

Again, this speaks to me. You are saying the soul is tangible --and it, it fact can be shattered, broken, split. Vert heartfelt. "Factual" seems forced. Just a suggestion. I don't like to criticize too specific unless offering a alternative.

Suggestion:

So natural it feels
Part of you is missing
Soul splitting is real

[Millionth Muse]

Soul splitting...I can relate to this. I think that in many ways this speaks to a lot of different people; whether through reltionship woes or simply the harsh realities of life. I fell into your writing as I read, which is exactly what I love to do.

Suggestsion:
First line--- "supposed"
Third line--- I would suggest "in" instead of "into"
Fourth line---Don't need the comma before "curve"
Seventh line-- "everything" one word
Sixteeth line-- "used" instead of "use"