Common destiny

An epigram by F. Schiller translated by JM Rakotolahy

Common Destiny

 

 

See,

We hate each other,

We argue with each other,

Inclinations and opinions divide us,

And yet,

Mutual attraction makes you blush, as well as me.

Author's Note

suggestion of improvement welcome

Reviews

[Nely Amorim]

simple, short but it conveys what it needs to, don't change a thing. Most often I would be unlikely to suggest anyone change there writing. Be confident in your instinctive words. they most likely are the best, anyone elses opinions or improvement may take away from the initial intention of your words.
I like it just the way it is. :)

[Antigone]

I like this! It's a free-flowing, simple verse, but I can already picture the couple together in my mind. Thumbs up!

[Albert Freeman]

Don't change it. Sometimes the best poems are short and sweet. I picture in my head two competing people after one goal who see each other as competition but are attracted to one another. Straight out of a movie or book. :)

Well done.

[Rambling Prose]

'Tis true, tis true indeed...

Nicely done...

[Phibby Venable]

perhaps the blush is two sides recognizing a whole.
direct & extensive.

[Emily B]

This made me smile. It reminded me of several couples that I know.

[jen -- JG]

This is good the way it is. To me it is making a complete statement that says

see, even though we don't get on, we fight, we hate, have different opinions , we still have strong feelings for each other, so strong that they make both parties blush.

This can be taken as a personal statement where the blushing is just shame and or excitement from the strength of the desire

or

it could be something on a global scene when the blushing is plain shame and avarice because even though we don't get on - we are prepared to take what the other has, whether it is offered or not.

A mind expanding write.

well done

jen-JG

[THERISA]

Translation is an art, like poetry, which when done well, flows before the eyes. Like the smoothest silk that one can lay their fingers upon. Given the dramatic differences between English and German grammar and nouns, you have crafted a wonderful poem. Worthy on its own merits. Thank you for sharing this poem with us.

Therisa

[Mark Pearce]

Being different people, I would have punctuated it differently, but it is a WONDERFUL piece.

Simple. Spare. Honest. WONDERFUL.