Lovers Without Love Like Me

Pain.

I've built up walls around my hearts; they're perfectly crafted, impenetrable.
I have a well trained face too; I can hold back so much despite how much I'm hurting.
I only release and break down when I'm alone.
Even when I do slip up and the damns in my eyes break, the tears are silent and quickly wiped away.
My mother trained me to loose my emotion as she did hers, to become the hollow shell of a human being.
And eventually, I'll let my guard down, and let Hope in with it's disguised Trojan horse.
And unbeknownst to me, I wheel in Hope's horse of soldiers and wait for the surprise--
or the f*****g explosion, so it seems.

And that is what I did here.
Assuming, wishing, dreaming-- being stupid with my masterly constructed fortress of a heart.
When the news broke--when Hope's Trojan soldiers broke free and attacked--that J was actually not thinking about me as that 18 year old, but another girl--all the hollowness became very present.
Everything I stuffed inside myself to cushion the blows of minor catastrophes seem to catch fire, ashe away, and leave me with a damaged heart and a bitter hollowness that I just couldn't shake.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar, I wrote this when I was a mess.

Reviews

[Taylor H]

i like it but i dont understand the trojan horse part.