My Age

....age is NOT a number, but silliness is still silliness...

My Age
(A Letter Poem)

Dear Freud, Jung, and any other psychobabble expert out there,

I’ve been thinking about age lately; how old I am and what that means. My mind hurts from it, round and round in circles and no real answers, just questions. Like why? Why don’t I act my age? Good question.

All this “thinking” is due to a comment a sweet friend made a few days ago. “Ever consider acting your age? No? Good!” I had to laugh cause her teasing me is well deserved and rarely happens even though I tease the hell out of her. Way too much actually. And I know it was teasing because of the “good” part. But it still got me thinking.

Why actually do I act like an 8-year-old? Teasing, making weird and silly jokes, all nonsense really, since humor is often a way to make a point about something that often isn’t at all funny. Richard Pryor and George Carlin were really good at this kind of humor. My humor and teasing doesn’t even come close to even one of their worst routines. So why do I do this??

Is it because I am old? I mean 69 is old, let’s face it. Why would I want to be 8? There are of course many theories about this. Many! Some say humor and or acting silly is a cover for many of our feelings. Feelings like anger, fear, hurt and pain, sadness, insecurity, aloneness, doubt and unworthiness. I realize some of these are very similar. But we often hide behind a mask of humor.

Perhaps a more revealing question might be why am I so silly around her and at times a few others?? “Ah Ha” you say, “now we are getting somewhere”… but where exactly is this “somewhere”? See just another good question. I mean I have no friggin’ clue. And am getting tired laying around on the couch. Is it a man thing? Maybe a chromosome outta place in my genetic makeup? Do I need an attitude adjustment; you know a bop upside the head a few times? Please, I am open to all ideas and suggestions.

There is one thing I do know. When I read her poetry or her comments on mine it makes me feel really happy and I smile a lot. This is usually when the urge to be silly comes out. Okay you say, “cool, people should make you feel happy, and you should want to make them feel happy too, make them smile, so why the questions? Why this drama? You don’t look like no Diva to me.” Well fuk you very much Mr. Freud. I know this. I mean I am 69, I should be wise, show intelligence, maybe even be dignified or something that is appropriate for my age.

I worry, you know. Feel afraid my teasing and comments maybe too much, or not enough; or my comments taken and or seen by others as something weird, inappropriate and yet I don’t seem to have control of it. I type out words, hit the send button and then go UHHO did I just do that??!! Yep. I have advanced from 8 to a hormonal 16-year-old, and the sky is falling, the ocean is in tsunami mode, and this foot is starting to taste good, especially with a little catsup. Better known as I am fucked!!!

69, and after all these years still find talking openly to a woman a mystery and complicated and scary as hell. Given all this: 69 is too old, 16 is no man’s land, so 8 is much preferable. And really, when you are 8 you are much less fearful than at any other time in your life and everything is just a cool adventure. So, I hope you do not mind. I am just an old, silly, big kid at heart. Kiss me!! er… wait… I mean.. see, it is happening again…

Aztec Warrior/redzone  10.20.16

(Note: no one was injured in writing this poem letter except for my 16 year old self who claims to never had any hormonal imbalances)

Author's Note

...thanks for reading... and no worries, I like having fun at my own expense... you do have to laugh at your own silliness... no reason for the song except that I LOVE IT and I'm a PSYCHOkiller.. and my beds on fire... ;0)

Reviews

[Xxxxxx]

That is great feeling like that at that age. I hope I feel that age at 69. Great poem!

[D Connolly]

Growing up is boring, man! Stay the same; it's a lost art in this world we grown ups have created for ourselves.

[Coyote Poetry]

Age, just a number my friend. I wish I could keep the energy of my youth. Good when someone make you feel special.
Coyote

[Ruth]

Things can be too over complicated at times, personally, I believe the answer is quite simple...you have innocence in your beautifully, warm heart. Whatever happened to the notion that life isn't meant to be dull and harsh but can be a smile shared with someone and humour? Such interaction is part of a genuine soul, in my opinion. Why should it be any different when we get older, why should we not count the blessings of such moments, the world is heavy at times, you never know what such interaction may bring, it could be the smile someone really needed or a light in the dark...you be you...don't change a thing. Let the youth continue I say and be the beauty you are, you raise many a smile and I for one, find that a wonderful aspect to you...there...cheaper than therapy and said from an honest heart lol Blessings hon...

[Beccy]

Loved this! My dad is seventy next March and still plays practical jokes on friends and family.

Sometimes he drives my mother up the wall, (so she claims,) but my sister and I can see the laughter in her eyes.

Stay just as you are.

Beccy.

[redzone]

my ex use to say the same thing and then add something about too much testosterone in the room... but leave laughing.... it was one of the good things we had together... on the other hand with all boys there really was too much testosterone in the room...lol

Beccy I love your comment, thank you so much for stopping by and leaving it and I will do my best to "stay the same" ...

[Kelly Scheppers]

I believe age is a matter of mind - if you don't mind, it doesn't matter! Lol, oh Curt, the joy you bring to this Cafe is immeasurable!

[redzone]

aaahhh I see one of those matter over mind over matter things... thank you Kelly, you are way too kind to me with this review, but I love it... batting eye lashes her, would you tell me again about my immeasurable joy... lol... ;0) Kelly, I really am bad, you know this right?! ;0)

[Kelly Scheppers]

...yes, I do. I'm pretty much the same way, though...what can I say? ; )

[redzone]

Nothing, just smile... and let the immeasurable joy begin... ;0)

[Sami Khalil]

Society holds age to a certain standard and want us to be conditioned by their definitions of it. I believe we should live to the fullest and make our own happiness even if it takes humour to spread around. It is all in our attitude and love of life. An excellent poem , sir for it raises very important questions and delivers...:)......................

[redzone]

hey Sami, thanks for your kind words you are right about living our lives to the fullest and not just always hold to what society wants.... we often limit ourselves and other by doing so... you always leave thought provoking and wonderful comments... much appreciated...

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. You are welcome. ....:::)))))

[barleygirl]

To be able to act out spontaneously is a gift . . . a talent. Just think, Hillary's main critique is that she's too "practiced" . . . too "scripted." This is the worst criticism for us old farts. Being surrounded by pets all my life has helped me stop measuring myself to other humans & instead I follow their uninhibited lead. I'm lucky to be more doglike than human. Anyhow, it's always refreshing to see any person, man or woman, old or young, being able to engage in true self-honesty when there's an audience. I applaud your introspective probing becuz I believe, at the core of the best writing, is stark self honesty & you have it in spades. In this plastic overly-molded hyper-ethereal new world, people are really craving raw unedited honesty . . . not the latest iphone. Hold onto this awesome quality . . . it's just something about you that attracts many others in a way that you are the only one thinking about your age and/or limitations (((HUGS))) . . . I would kill to be able to write something revealing this much self-honesty.

[redzone]

and don't forget she wears pant suits... I always try and have a good assessment of myself, strengths and weaknesses... not some much to be able to write, but to live up to my own expectations... probably like many others I see far more weaknesses than strengths which is all that religious guilt we get taught and made to feel almost right from the time we open our eyes...

thanks Margie for your words of encouragement... and dogs have this unconditional love and wet kisses... not sure though I could get away with licking someone I like though... ;0)

[aLittlePain]

Oh the man child! It's a fact of life ;) this was a fun read Curt. I have a lot of man children in my life I wonder how they made it wife, kids and all without ever growing up...ha. Life's for living rock/ on. R

[redzone]

I was wondering, with all these mad children running around, are there any women children out there too, never growing up, you know husband, kids, etc??? I mean I have this cool sand box and some Tonka trucks... lol... ;0)

[aLittlePain]

Exactly...lol. you're hilarious

[Ana Papaya]

This made me laugh and smile. Men... You guys over think things often and never really grow up.
I have two brothers, both married with children and still act like children when we get together.
It's all good, just have fun. Life is too short.

[redzone]

just have fun eh... no more worrying, or over thinking, just act, it's all okay.... cool, okay a new me.. Hi Papaya, can I have that kiss now... er... ;0) I know MEN!! sheeesh...