Desert Mountain View on Rare Rainy Day

Desert Mountain View on Rare Rainy Day

A Poem by Roland Petrov
"

It rained in the desert today, and my view of Mount San Jacinto was the inspiration for my very first Triolet.

"

I looked up in awe

at mist on the mountain.

Less mountain was more!

I looked up in awe,

gray raincloud I saw:

an upside down fountain.

I looked up in awe

at mist on the mountain.


© 2015 Roland Petrov



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Ah, it is beautiful, Roland … I dearly love your composition, and that you continue to stretch your poetical wings.
One of the benefits of the Triolet is that its form allows for powerful expression of any topic, with its repeated refrains, and the only hitch, in an otherwise perfect form, is that line three should be a spot-on "a" rhyme.
A helpful hint: Omit the poetically meaningless "the" and "and" words, and consider that this form is short and that a strong poetic voice is required to bring it to life:

I looked up in awe
'pon mist o'er yon mountain. (or, some-such)

I looked up in awe,
dark rainclouds I saw: (or, some-such)

Whatever; your efforts are always full-on and brilliantly executed to your fullest ability, and for me, this is a viable part of enjoying your excellently growing skills, my friend … thank you for sharing! 〜 Richard

(90/100)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Roland Petrov

2 Years Ago

Thanks to you, the "and" is gone in favor of "gray" (lots of fountains around here are gray in color.. read more



Reviews

The amount of sight one experiences at a mountain
places the world and oneself in perspective

Something reads so well in your words
A sense of freedom
and being alive

Lovely

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Roland Petrov

1 Year Ago

Lovely comment; thank you so much!
Ah, it is beautiful, Roland … I dearly love your composition, and that you continue to stretch your poetical wings.
One of the benefits of the Triolet is that its form allows for powerful expression of any topic, with its repeated refrains, and the only hitch, in an otherwise perfect form, is that line three should be a spot-on "a" rhyme.
A helpful hint: Omit the poetically meaningless "the" and "and" words, and consider that this form is short and that a strong poetic voice is required to bring it to life:

I looked up in awe
'pon mist o'er yon mountain. (or, some-such)

I looked up in awe,
dark rainclouds I saw: (or, some-such)

Whatever; your efforts are always full-on and brilliantly executed to your fullest ability, and for me, this is a viable part of enjoying your excellently growing skills, my friend … thank you for sharing! 〜 Richard

(90/100)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Roland Petrov

2 Years Ago

Thanks to you, the "and" is gone in favor of "gray" (lots of fountains around here are gray in color.. read more
I've never heard of a Triolet before. My goodness, there's a lot of poetry styles out there! I love the thought of looking in awe on mountain mist, other than cups of tea in beautiful gardens on warm sunny afternoons, it would be one of my favourite things to look at, mountains and mist (if I had one near me). Thanks for sharing a slice of your day Roland!

P.S. A poetry friend on WordPress shared a poem written in 'ghazal' I'd never heard of that either. Just thought you might like this? http://littleoldladywho.net/2015/09/04/unfallen-rain/

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Roland Petrov

2 Years Ago

Thanks, Suzy. I looked up ghazal in my Handbook to LIterature, but it doesn't say much about it. You.. read more
Suzy Hazelwood

2 Years Ago

No it's not an active link to her page, but if you highlight the whole address, right click and sele.. read more
Ill never look at cloud the same again: an upside down fountain... love the imagery!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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346 Views
4 Reviews
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Added on September 16, 2015
Last Updated on October 12, 2015
Tags: desert, mountain, rain, cloud, triolet

Author

Roland Petrov
Roland Petrov

Desert Hot Springs, CA



About
Every type of school I went to was in a different country on a different continent: primary school in England, junior high in Ethiopia, high school in Lebanon, and university in the United States. I'v.. more..

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