coming home

a child sees the same person walking home from school everyday, until they don't.

her black hair glistened in the sunlight and

was a shadow in the rain.

her face never showed emotion.

i saw her everyday

then i didn’t.

she never came back.

i always wondered

what happened?

 

she was gone.

forever?

Author's Note

im not even sure i understand what i wrote in this poem

Reviews

[Hbrook]

I really like this piece. It stands out, and is really thought provoking. The way you put the question mark after the word "forever" signifies that there's some kind of hope left, and that the writer is hoping that she'd come back. There was an emotionless mask involved? Maybe the person who this takes place in the mind of feels like he/she did not connect with her the way they wished that they could have with the girl.
This was a great piece! Lobed it!

[Jiggsy]

Very thought provoking and poignant..I really liked this piece..

[George Coombs]

An interesting and thought provoking piece of work Ruth-the reader can enter into this in their own way and wonder perhaps what the girl was feeling and indeed who she was/is.if, as the last line tells us she 'was gone forever' how do we really know this?-the reader can join you in 'wondering what happened'-if she 'never showed emotion' does this mean she never felt emotion?
Great writing in that the reader has much to take away and consider further

[Marina]

I love that you ended this in a question becuase the poem in and of itself is a question. It is very mysterious. Who is that girl, and what did she feel? And at least, if she is gone forever, she is immortalized in your writing :).. thanks for sharing :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Sometimes poems spring from memories or passing thoughts and sew themselves together behind our eyes. It captures a sort of melancholy and perhaps a harking back to childhood?

[wordman]

a lost friendship maybe,we wonder about people,like here they never come back and most of us does not know why

[ruth]

very true words. thanks for the review

[wordman]

my pleasure

[Bare trees]

If you don't I do. There is a haunting resonance to this I see clearly. Even children can pick up on the disquiet that pervades a mystery.

I like this and must give it 100.

[ruth]

thank you very much for your review.

[keith]

you have captured a moment of your time ... excellent

[ruth]

thank you for your review.
:)