i was told

-6:31-
-i was told that we have control over our emotions. and i guess thats true. but i wish someone told me that sometimes your emotions control your actions. and that no matter how hard you try sometimes the pain in your chest wont leave, no matter how warm the sun makes the air feel. i was told to be aware of the boys down the street because theyll take the things most precious to your body, but no one ever told me of the desire to be taken away from everything. and that sometimes the air becomes so stale and dry reminding you of how cold your bones feel no matter the season. i was told that eating is okay, but no one ever told me that we werent aloud to be over 100 pounds. no one ever told me that people would judge you so harshly no matter what you do. and that sometimes not eating anything at all seems better than gaining weight. i was told that girls are mean sometimes, but no one ever told me how mean i would be to myself. and that feeling cold metal pressed against my skin would feel better than the cloudy emotions in my head. yeah they said i would have emotions, but they never told me how hard it is to control them. and that there are people who will leave such a dent in your life that no amount of drowning in anything can change that. i was told that falling in love was inevitable. but i was not warned of what happens if they leave. and no one ever told me what happens next. what happens after you finally find that one? what happens after you get the marriage and the kid. are we all robots just doing what we're told? or do we have a say in what we feel and how we act. they say to follow your dreams but when you begin to love the skin you're in they tell you youre full of pride. i was told we have control over our emotions. and that may be true, but they never told me how.-