Boys Don't Burn Blue

he crushed his auburn hair in his hands in hopes

I had not just held out my hand.

Why can't you just let me go? he pleaded.

and to think he was so beautiful before this got old.

I whispered that I loved him before I really knew.

As we pulled apart and the oxygen hit our lips

he began to combust.

And his greens disappeared first.

swiftly followed by his yellows.

the pinks floated up soon after.

before long the grays faded til there was nothing but tufts

of deep red hair and still....

he never lost his blues.

[OR]

 

He crushed his auburn hair with his palms in hopes
I had not just held out my hand.
Why can't you just let me go? he pleaded.
and to think he was so beautiful before this got old.
As I whispered that I loved him I found myself
trying to pull the words back in.
As we pulled apart and the oxygen hit our lips
he began to combust.
And his greens disappeared first,
swiftly followed by his yellows,
the pinks floated up soon after.
Before long the grays faded til

there was nothing but tufts
of deep red hair and still....
he never lost his blues.

Reviews

[H.]

Wow. That was elegant.

Colors are so powerful. They mean so much to people. And you really harnessed that. You just took a palette, and captured a moment, without a brush ever hitting a canvas.

"and to think he was so beautiful before this got old." Love this line. It gave me this sense that he was more appealing to you before you had him.

You don't stay strictly metered. You fall in and out of trochee, but it works well.

[katester]

this looks really cool! I like how the colors burned away. It seems like he was maybe depressed? I dunno, that's what I get from it. either way I liked it!

[Jimi Brady]

From the moment I read "auburn", the image in my head became a scene between Armand and Louis from Interview with the Vampire.

I can relate to the words in a way that I really can't describe.

"and to think he was so beautiful before this got old.
I whispered that I loved him before I really knew."

Especially those lines.

[An owl on the moon]

Deeply Seussian in your painted words. Beautiful description of falling away... Simply wonderful!

[J]

Oh my ~ I will have to thank Julie for sending this my way . . . fanTAStic read! Your imagery ~ completely original, colours bright neon! I really enjoyed this!

~j

[Sally Edwards]

Short and sweet, love the colourful descriptions.Cool writing

[J.P. Bristow]

this is awesome...amazing in fact!....I love your descriptors here---stunning!